Last week the New York Post reported on the suicide of a 13-year-old Staten Island boy who had been relentlessly bullied at his Catholic school. Danny Fitzgerald’s parents posted his sad and touching letter on Facebook.It’s another example of why bullying is not good for children — or for anyone.
What’s more, the deleterious effects are no longer confined to the playground. They continue long after students close the schoolyard gate, several studies say. It turns out that not only do people being bullied suffer long-term emotional problems, but so do the bullies.
Editor’s Note: This story was originally published on Feb. 20, 2013, and was updated by Roberta Alexander on August 16, 2016.
In the final analysis the victim suffers from the scars of bullying. The bully suffers from guilt of knowing how much pain he inflicted on others. You can’t turn back the clock but you can seek out the people that were bullied in a heartfelt way through social media venues and speak with them to ask for forgiveness. This is not easy, it’s hard. According to the research health problems arise because of guilt and bitterness from either being a bully or a victim. Bringing these two parties together later in life can make a difference in terms of their health and longevity. From a practical standpoint bullies need to held accountable at an early age and victims need to be strengthened to feel more capable and connected.
Bullying is a serious threat to our youth today. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), bullying affects 20% of high school students and cyberbullying affects 16% of high school students. Surveys compiled by the CDC also show that 33% of students ages 12-18 who reported bullying at school and 27% of students ages 12-18 who reported cyberbullying indicated that they were bullied at least once or twice a month. Middle schools reported the highest rate of bullying (25%), at least once a week.
Bullying has lasting effects without question. The concern is what do we do with revenge seeking victims, who have been abused for a lifetime and whose cup has just emotionally run over. Rarely do you see a bully involved in a school shooting. It’s always the victim who believes that the only way to get even is to get even with the world as he/she knows it. More has to be done in the area of mental illness to address the clinical issues that victims face. Strengthening the victim with a resiliency based program can develop confidence and improve self esteem.
Here’s why I wish this was around when I was younger.
Bullying is something many of us can relate to. More so because it starts from our playground days and can last a lifetime.
It takes on so many different forms, but perhaps the worst of the damage lies not in physical confrontation (which is bad in itself already), but by callously and cruelly tossed words slung someone’s way.
The intent to injure with words goes beyond name-calling. It’s a systematic way of breaking down and crippling someone else’s self-esteem.
Words at times can do more damage then the physical abuse of bullying. We all have to filter what we say and determine if our words are truthful, kind, and necessary. If they are not then we have to evaluate our motives for saying what we say to others.
College is stressful. Every student faces challenges; some of which are common among peers, and others that are more individual. LGBTQ students, for example, have a unique set of challenges to consider. Fortunately, more and more schools are working to make their campuses, traditional and online, more inclusive. This guide takes a look at those colleges and universities leading the way in providing curricula and resources to support LGBTQ students throughout their college experience. Information on resources, curricula, and student organizations is provided, as well as candid interviews with LGBTQ community leaders to help alleviate some of the worries that LGBTQ students may have when it comes to postsecondary education.
A friendly and welcoming atmosphere needs to start to happen well before college. Schools and communities need to teach their student’s and children how to value the difference in others and be accepting in their actions and attitudes. Bullying occurs for two reasons weakness and difference. Prejudice is learned and we all must work toward a culture of change.
In dealing with the apathetic student it is important to know if the behavior is a learned behavior or a clinical problem.A problem that may require the assistance of a mental health professional. In doing so teachers can then work with social workers and psychologists to establish a plan. Once this plan is developed it will help this student overcome the apathy, and possible depression that is interfering with his/her academic potential. Too often the child can be labeled as lazy or even non-compliant when in reality there is far more going on within the child’s thoughts.
Parents who are angry and irate can wreak havoc in a school and can be intimidating. Learn how to defuse power struggles and maintain your dignity, and the dignity of the parent as you handle planned and unplanned parent /teacher conferences.This is a 5 hour self study course. The participants may be eligible for 5 hours of professional development credit.
