Bullying is a problem of national concern. The United States Secret Service & Department of Education Reported for the Safe School Initiative in 2002 report on Violent Acts in schools that since 1974 it was found that 66% of the shooters in all school situations that were reviewed had been previous victims, eventually committing bullying acts themselves.
Bullying is an inter-generational, learned behavior. It is perpetuated through poor role modeling by parents and other adults who were themselves victimized and never learned to manage their anger. Young, inexperienced children may well observe that aggressive behavior produces results, and however negative decide to repeat this process well into adulthood.
Victims can also become incapacitated by fear. They may have been bullied at a very young age and, through their own private logic, have concluded that avoidance through silence is the answer. At times they may think about revenge, but not act on it. They may not show their anger but, because of an inability to express their feelings, they stay angry.
By the time a victim becomes an adult; anger can grow into bitterness and have lost the ability for productive confrontation or conflict. Relationships are tough, but they can disguise their inadequacies. They may marry and raise families. The bitterness is then displaced on spouses and children. The model that fear and intimidation produces favorable results is perpetuated. It’s that attitude and behavior that a child observes and takes into school and society.
Millions have been raised in this type of environment. Problems have arisen related to anger and bitterness due to unresolved youth conflicts. Serial killers have been left unchecked as children, never having been taught the skills necessary to overcome their own dysfunction.
Each of us is the sum total of our own personal experiences. Some need to experience a situation only once to be incapacitated enough to option fearfulness and avoidance.
We inspire lasting change only by stopping the perpetuation of the problem of victim-turned-bully. Our point of reference should be to shift to the empowerment of the victims, to raise their strength in self awareness, self acceptance, and self esteem.
