What Are We Responsible For? Our Motives

What Are We Responsible For? Our Motives

This Is The Final Installment On Responsibility Taken From Anti Bullying 101

Do you ever watch Crime Seen Investigation? (CSI) I do, occasionally. I am amazed how all the evidence that is collected can point directly at the suspect in question, but they just can’t seem to figure out a motive. They need the motive to convict the person of the crime. We all know what the motive of a bully is right? Power, they want to have power and control over a smaller or weaker person.

How do you change the motive of a bully?

By being the strongest and most influential person in the classroom. That’s right you the teacher have this ability. You don’t need to use power; you need to use your influence. When your students realize that you are in charge their motives change from wanting to hurt, to wanting to help. They have met their match. Remember it is not about the influence of your power, but rather the power of your influence.

Bench Notice

The motive of a person is buried somewhere deep within in their secret life. It’s never revealed until a therapist or someone in the legal field starts to dig for answers as to the reason why some act or crime was committed. Bullies are driven by power as I stated above, victims by revenge.

In knowing this, it should be the job of school personnel, parents, and the community to be aware of those that are being victimized and to do their best to work with them to overcome the trauma of bullying. School shootings are usually carried out with revenge in mind. Let’s do our best to Strengthen the victims, and to hold bullies accountable for their actions.

 

Using Christmas Movies To Talk About Bullying

Using Christmas Movies To Talk About Bullying

No one likes a bully, and yet they’re everywhere, even in our Christmas movies! But never fear, these misfits end up becoming the heroes of their stories and saving the day!

While it may seem like an odd topic to discuss during the holiday season, Christmas movies provide on opportunity for you to talk about bullying with your children. Why? Many classic holiday movies are full of bullies. Here are a few examples:

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Bench Notice

There is a bit more to the moral than the one mentioned in this article. Yes, bullying isn’t cool, but the victim doesn’t always win in the end. For a young child watching these movies hope can spring eternal until they get back to school and have another run in with the school bully. During the holidays bullying can create greater isolation, exclusion, and loneliness than during other times during the year.

In reality for those that suffer at the hands of a bully the world can be a pretty lonely place, and can be extra painful during the holidays. (Whatever the holiday might be) Reach out as much as you can to give hope to one person and let them know how much they mean to you. There are those that are in physical need for sure, but recognizing the mental and emotional needs of people can help those that are victims begin to realize that the world may not be so lonely after all.

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High School Basketball Player With Epilepsy Mocked By Rival Fan

High School Basketball Player With Epilepsy Mocked By Rival Fan

A fan from a rival high school basketball team flopped around on the floor during a game Friday to mock a player’s epilepsy, witnesses claim.

James Franklin Jr., a senior at Indianapolis’ Cathedral High School, had part of his brain removed in August 2017 to reduce his number of epileptic seizures. He’s battled epilepsy since childhood, Indy Star reported. In spite of everything, he still pursues his love of basketball.

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Some people still haven’t grown up and probably never will.  Publicly making fun of someone with a handicapping condition is something that should never be tolerated and I guess officials at the Center Grove are pretty embarrassed. I am not happy with their response and believe that their embarrassment will probably cause them to soft pedal this thing and it will end with a good talking to. Basically let’s kick it under the rug.

Center Grove staff said they never heard any of the seizure comments during the game, but that they were still investigating the claims.“We take all allegations seriously and are continuing to investigate who may have made those comments,” Center Grove officials wrote in the letter to parents.

Bench Notice

First of all it wasn’t the seizure comments,(Have another seizure) it was the student acting out like he was having a seizure. It was obvious and it was caught on tape. After watching the video, what is there to investigate. Sometimes people need to be guilty until proven innocent. In this case, “Due Process” may be taken a bit too far.

We need to spend more time valuing the differences in people and stop the abuse, and in this case valuing this students courage and desire to play the sport that he loves regardless of his condition. Franklin’s coach Jason Delaney called him “a warrior”

“No one sets a better example or fights harder than James Franklin,” Delaney said. 

Well spoken Coach, I agree.

 

 

 

How Hostile Rhetoric at the Top Leads to Playground Bullying

How Hostile Rhetoric at the Top Leads to Playground Bullying

The hardest thing to come to terms with, watching the video of a Syrian boy being bullied in a Huddersfield school that circulated last week, was the sense of inevitability to it. The degradation of the country’s political culture continues to play out: it has been poisoned by Brexit, jaundiced by Islamophobia, while anti-immigrant sentiment has been normalized by the Conservative government. We’ve been heading here for years, decades even – to a place where a refugee can flee a civil war to Britain’s safe shores, only to face another type of barbarism, and become a refugee again.

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I have spoken about this problem for years. As a society we have been brainwashed by the news outlets that do nothing more then spout off about their own philosophy and right or left wing beliefs. It has now become an inter-generational problem as evidenced by this article. Here is what I wrote almost 10 years ago about this topic in Anti Bullying 101. 

FOX – CNN – MSNBC

Yes, I know all cable outlets for the news. Is it news, or is it the networks slant on the news? I think you know the answer. It is no longer just reporting the news. It’s reporting the new based upon the political views of the network. In homes across the country opinions are being formed by adults who listen to the thoughts of so called reporters, and experts who want everyone to believe that their network is fair and balanced. Thoughts about different countries, races, religions, ethnicity, and all manner of current events can enter homes with the click of a remote.

Do families talk about the news? Of course they do. The problem is they are not forming an opinion based upon their own values rather the values of others. How does this relate to bullying? The bias that may result in homes regarding the differences in others impacts our students. This negative communication filters down by osmosis and our students form negative attitudes and can become prejudicial in their thinking. What parents fail to understand is that their children attend school everyday with other students of very different backgrounds. Adults need to understand how their thoughts, words, actions, attitudes, and motives affect their children. It is far easier to build a boy than to mend a man. Know who is in front of you. Prejudice is learned it’s not genetic. Let’s all learn to value the differences. 

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Anxiety, Depression, and Suicide: The Lasting Effects of Bullying

Last week the New York Post reported on the suicide of a 13-year-old Staten Island boy who had been relentlessly bullied at his Catholic school. Danny Fitzgerald’s parents posted his sad and touching letter on Facebook.It’s another example of why bullying is not good for children — or for anyone.

bullying mental effects

What’s more, the deleterious effects are no longer confined to the playground. They continue long after students close the schoolyard gate, several studies say. It turns out that not only do people being bullied suffer long-term emotional problems, but so do the bullies.

Editor’s Note: This story was originally published on Feb. 20, 2013, and was updated by Roberta Alexander on August 16, 2016.

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In the final analysis the victim suffers from the scars of bullying. The bully suffers from  guilt of knowing how much pain he inflicted on others. You can’t turn back the clock but you can seek out the people that were bullied in a heartfelt way through social media venues and speak with them to ask for forgiveness. This is not easy, it’s hard. According to the research health problems arise because of guilt and bitterness from either being a bully or a victim. Bringing these two parties together later in life can make a difference in terms of their health and longevity. From a practical standpoint bullies need to held accountable at an early age and victims need to be strengthened to feel more capable and connected.