Bullying behaviors can create such scars that could impact a person’s life in many areas. Significant relationships, confidence, employment and job related reactive behaviors can prevent a person from from growing mentally and emotionally. Teachers and mental health professionals need to have a toolbox available as they work with this students and do all they can to assist in their growth. Bullying is truly behavior that no one forgets.
“The American psychologist Martin Seligman’s foundational experiments and theory of learned helplessness began at University of Pennsylvania in 1967, as an extension of his interest in depression. A person should be able to walk away from an abusive relationship, for example, or voluntarily quit a stressful job. A psychological condition known as learned helplessness, however, […]
Parent Education and Coaching is designed to educate parents in order to help them manage their child’s behaviors in the home that are impacting the family dynamic. This disruption can lead to school related behaviors that require the child to be disciplined in school causing greater stress, lack of patience, frustration, and at times can result in the parenting disciplining the child in anger.
The goal is to provide the skills and strategies to the parent to help deal with their child and his/her behavior as part of an educational process and then provide coaching along the way to help the parent build confidence in the discipline process and their parenting skills.
This is not therapy, it is education provided by a trained teacher, administrator, college instructor and who is a parent himself. Any recommendations made are done so with the best interest of the child and parent in mind and are designed to provide permanent help not temporary relief. Change is a step of faith and the process is not an overnight one but one that helps restore order and points both the child and parent in the direction of lifelong success and a stronger parent child relationship.
Some Behaviors That Are Addressed
Disrespect
Irresponsibility
Non-Compliance
Bullying
Victimization as a Result of Bullying
Lack of Motivation
Anger Issues
Disaffected Behavior
This program is designed to educate parents and works exclusively with the parent. If the child is experiencing clinical issues such as depression, anxiety, or appears to be affected by events within the family a trained therapist should be used to address these issues. We will work with the therapist upon the parent’s request.
What is Provided
(6) Six face to face meetings per year with the parent’s and their child
(4) Four webinars per month addressing some of the behaviors listed above or specific behaviors as explained by the parent. These webinars will be one hour in length.
(4) Four emails per month initiated by the parent that provide specific behaviors that require specific answers regarding their child as geographically possible.
(2) Two scheduled telephone conversation per month of 30 minutes or less that address a specific problem that is occurring.
Cost
The cost for the services listed above is $300 dollars per month payable via paypal. Payments would be due on the first of every month.
Any additions to the above services would result in an hourly fee of $50 dollars per hour or any part thereof.
Why is it that every time a school shooting occurs that everyone who knows or knew the perpetrator identifies him/her as a troubled person who was reclusive and exhibited all manner of anti social behavior? Never fails. Here are some of the comments that have been made about Adam Lanza the perpetrator who entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown Connecticut and opened fire on December 15, 2012 killing 26 people, 20 of them were children.
“Adam Lanza has been a weird kid since we were five years old,” said Tim Dalton, a neighbor and former classmate, on Twitter. “As horrible as this was, I can’t say I am surprised.”
“This was a deeply disturbed kid,” a family insider said. “He certainly had major issues. He was subject to outbursts from what I recall.”
A further family friend said he had acted as though he was immune to pain.
“A few years ago when he was on the baseball team, everyone had to be careful that he didn’t fall because he could get hurt and not feel it,” said the friend. “Adam had a lot of mental problems.”
“It was almost painful to have a conversation with him, because he felt so uncomfortable,” said Olivia DeVivo, who sat behind him in English. “I spent so much time in my English class wondering what he was thinking.”
“He didn’t fit in with the other kids.” “He was very, very shy. He wouldn’t look you in the eyes when he talked. He didn’t really want to lock eyes with you for very long.”
It’s almost as if everybody knows, but nobody cares, or maybe they do care but really don’t know what to do. They continue to walk amongst us being spoken about as weird by neighbors and family members who wish they could take a peak into their secret life and discover what conclusions they have drawn about life. Who or what are they angry at, and what measures will they take to get even with the world maybe for just being born.
Revenge: the greatest motivator known to mankind. It’s been around since Cain and Abel affecting those who have been victimized by life, either physically, emotionally, or mentally. The problem is the victims get even with the wrong people.According to the United States Secret Service since 1999 thirty seven of the school shootings that have occurred have been carried out by those who were victims of bullying.
Bullies are motivated and driven by power, victims are motivated by revenge. Victims are compilers. They compile information about people who have victimized them and about their inabilities to speak or act with confidence. They do this until their cup just plain runs over. The pain has to go somewhere which is why after the victim exacts his revenge he/she will usually take their own life.
“There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly clear. There’s a man with a gun over there. Telling me I’ve got to beware.” For What It’s Worth – Buffalo Springfield
Children today bring home report cards for their parents review about four times during the school year. Parents can attend two to three parent teacher conferences to receive reports on how their children are doing academically and behaviorally. During these conferences teachers at times communicate to parents that their sons or daughters are doing fine, but they need to take their time with their work because they just seem to make careless mistakes. In reality their children are not doing well academically but for some reason teachers feel that poor student performance is a reflection of their teaching ability, not a student’s work ethic. There is only one way to measure a student’s performance and to determine whether a not they have mastered the material that was taught, and that’s by assigning a grade associated with the work that the student completes. Grades like and A. B. C. or 80%, 90%, or 100% are part of reality and children and parents need to be given a clear idea of whether or not the material that was taught was actually mastered with an appropriate grade assigned.
So, why are children careless? The biggest reason is that teachers from the first grade on accept work that is sub par, and doesn’t communicate the truth to the student or parent that the work submitted is unacceptable. Carelessness just becomes part of life and parents believe their child isn’t academically deficient but just makes careless mistakes, doesn’t pay attention, is a day dreamer, or just plain old lazy. The truth is the child hasn’t mastered the material that was taught.
The way for teachers to resolve the problem is to raise their level of expectation and to put in place more stringent grading practices that give a true indication of the student’s performance. By doing this students will have a better understanding of their abilities, and when taken seriously will motivate the student to pay attention, and to be more careful with the work that is turned in.
Revise – Re-do – Retake
To start this process any work that that is handed in whether it is homework, class work, tests, or quizzes should never just be handed back to the student with the mistakes noted. The work should be handed back with the mistakes noted and with the understanding that if the student grade was 80% or less the entire assignment must be done again. It may take a few re-do’s but once the student gets the idea that certain grades are unacceptable they will be less careless and more careful when they turn in assignments the first time. This not only motivates the student but gives them the opportunity to master material that would otherwise just be handed back to them with a poor grade. Students must revise writing assignments, re-do, careless work, and retake tests if their grade was 80% or less.
Poor academic performance is a result of students not having the necessary pre requisite skills to perform at a higher level. The only way to resolve the problem is to go back to the academic areas that were not mastered by the student and make them repeat the areas of deficiency until mastered. To a school district this can be costly and create a great deal of parental and community discord. So, by today’s standards that is almost impossible to do. Why not be tougher on students academically the first time around and really get them to master the material that is being taught. Stop using the excuse that the students are careless and start using tougher grading practices that will make students more careful and most of all more responsible for their academic progress..
Do you ever watch CSI (Crime Seen Investigation)? I do, occasionally. I am at amazed how all of the evidence that is collected can point directly at the suspect in question, but they just can’t seem to figure out a motive. They need the motive to convict the person of the crime. We all know what the motive of a bully is, right? Power. They want to have power and control over a smaller or weaker person. How do you change the motive of a bully? By being the strongest and most influential person in the classroom. That’s right, you, the teacher have this ability. You don’t need to use power; you need to use your influence. When your students realize that you are in charge their motives change from wanting to hurt others, to wanting to help. They have met their match. Remember, it is not about the influence of your power, but rather the power of your influence.
Parents who are angry and irate can wreak havoc in a school and can be intimidating. Learn how to defuse power struggles and maintain your dignity, and the dignity of the parent as you handle planned and unplanned parent /teacher conferences.This is a 5 hour self study course. The participants may be eligible for 5 hours of professional development credit.
