Some parents have lost their perception of right and wrong behaviors, and sometimes even simple decisions are tough. It’s these parents that will try to bully the teacher and the school. They do not have the ability to cooperate when they disagree and can wreak havoc in an educational setting. These parents need to be agreed with immediately. You heard right; agreed with. But, agree in principal, not with the content. Let them know that you can see things from their perspective, but work with them to see things from your perspective. Instead of a tug of war, move to their side of the rope. Or better The young parents of today need parenting. Parents who have left home with a rebellious attitude may not even be speaking with their own parents yet, let go of the rope. Ease into conversations with these parents and lose your fear of being yelled at. Be an empathic listener, and don’t argue. They need to be taught, and you are going to do it.
Please go to http://bullyproofcla
sroom.com/parents-can-bebullies-too-2 and read this article. Based upon the previous tip, it is obvious that bullying is wrong and it will not be tolerated. But, what do you do when parents are bullies? The real reason why parents argue with teachers and administration is because they will never win the argument at home with their own child who they, as the parent, never corrected. They are, in many ways bullied at home and react out of fear; this fear is taken out on the teacher in the form of anger and rage. They are not doing their child any favors because their child is going to have a difficult time in life when Mom and Dad are not around. What’s the answer? When dealing with a parent who is a known bully, never go at it alone. Always meet with them when you have the support of your colleagues or the administration. Parents who are bullies will usually believe what their son or daughter tells them. Things like “the teacher doesn’t like me,” or “the teacher is always picking on me” are common cries from students who are bullies. When you meet with these parents, they go on the attack and become accusatory, putting you as the teacher on the defensive. Chances are, if their son or daughter is a bully, they are a school-wide problem as well, and other teachers and administration have observed their behavior. Having the support of your team when meeting with a parent avoids the idea that you are picking on their child.
“K.” That is my daughter’s response when I send her a request using a text message. I guess it was too much of a strain on her index finger to type the “O”. Adults are also getting into this habit of truncation; things like “you are” are now “ur.” Many years ago, the digital watch came out and all you had to do was view the numbers on the face to be able to tell someone what time it was. That was all well and good, provided you still knew how to tell time by reading the hands on a clock. The same thing is true regarding the invention of calculator. It should only be used for convenience, not to bypass a necessary life skill like multiplication. In this digital age, our students are losing their communication skills. They now interact with the use of Facebook and text messaging. Having an intelligent conversation or writing a “thank you” note is considered old fashioned. Sending an email, a text, or a Facebook post is now the preferred method. What does all this have to do with bullying? Kids today no longer confront in a face to face manner. A healthy confrontation is necessary in life to draw boundaries and express emotions in a constructive way. This is the skill that needs to be taught first, before texting and Facebook-ing. Begin to focus on writing, speaking, and communication as much as possible with your students. Make it a daily exercise. My fear is that if we don’t we will lose our students to the digital abyss.
[ecwid widgets=”productbrowser search categories” default_category_id=”0″ default_product_id=”0″ minicart_layout=”MiniAttachToProductBrowser”]
Too often teachers award a grade of an “A” or a “B” to a student, when in reality the student doesn’t know the material and a more realistic grade would be a “C” or even a “D.” Parental or administrative pressure or curriculum timelines can place you in a position of awarding a grade that is not in line with your student’s actual performance or ability. This is more of a problem for the student and the student’s parents than for you. Students who have an inflated view of their own ability move on to the next marking period or the next grade with a lethal combination: an inflated view of their academic ability (overconfidence) and a lack of the prerequisite skills they need to succeed. This cockiness combined with the students perception of their true ability can produce anger-related issues that could translate into bullying behavior. These students ultimately become behavioral and academic problems for another teacher who often will blame you for the problem. Plus, another huge problem that arises is that the student’s parents also develop the same inflated view of their child’s ability. This grade inflation only produces future pain for the student, the parents, any of the student’s future teachers, and maybe even you, down the road.
The past is the past, right? Wrong. The past can and will dictate the future if we allow ourselves to be measured based on our failures rather then our successes. Let’s face it. We all have failed or fallen short from time to time. Just because we have failed does not mean we are a failure. It just means we did the best with what we knew at the time. Parents can do this once they take a look at the lifestyle or the behavior of their grown children. If you are a parent, take heart: you did your best with the information you had in the process of raising your children. If you are a teacher and have had your share of problems and headaches and feel like the funds are low and the debts are high, don’t look back. Don’t drive while looking in the rear view mirror; you will hit a future tree. Gandhi once said, “Be the change we wish to see in the world.” What changes do you want? A kinder and gentler place for kids to come, have fun, and learn? Realize that you are the one that has the capacity to facilitate the change. Have you goofed up in the past? So what? The past is the past, so please don’t ever let it remind you of what you are now. Let the past remind you of what the future holds when you finally let go.
