They interviewed a group of muggers in NY a few years back and asked them what they looked for when they were zeroing in on a victim. The one negative quality that all victims possessed was they walked around looking down at the ground, and were not really aware of their surroundings. The muggers could just sense the victims fear and inability to detect trouble. The victims were not alert to pending problems.
What is alertness? Alertness is the ability to be aware of that which is going on around me so I can have the right responses. At times victims are not even aware that they are being bullied, laughed at, or ridiculed. They believe that the bully is just fooling around and is their friend. Teach your students to always be alert to what is being said to them and done to them and help them to create healthy boundaries. It starts with two words; Pay Attention!!
Bench Notice
This quality becomes even more important as a person becomes older. If we don’t pay attention to our thoughts, words, actions, attitudes, and motives our relationships will suffer along with other areas of our life. If we are not alert to a dwindling bank account and high credit card debt the chances are pretty good we are headed for bankruptcy. Going broke can take on many forms. No money is one thing, let’s not become mentally, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt as well. Pay Attention!!
That which truly distinguishes one person from another is the force that is called character. Character is more important than achievement. Character affects thoughts decision, words, attitudes, goals, relationships, and actions. As people build character, the outcomes of their lives become more successful. Good character is characterized by the constant striving to make the right choice. A person with true character demonstrates qualities such as: honesty, reliability, diligence, respect and responsibility. In school, a student cooperates in a willing spirit with school regulations concerning attendance, property, and behavior.
Technology advances, information expands, and the world changes, but the building blocks for producing individuals of character do not change.
Character and Achievement
Achievement is the positive results of good character. The nature and quality of your character will determine the type of achievement that marks your life. Character is the causative force in a person’s decisions. Accomplishments are the effects of those decisions.
Having a beautiful and productive garden requires the selection, planting, and watering of good seeds; removal of unwanted weeds; and the continuing nourishment of the roots of the “good plants.” Therefore it is useless to motivate accomplishments without first and foremost encouraging good character.
Achievement should always come through praising the character of the individual that brought it about. Rather than telling a child “I am thrilled you got an ‘A’ on your math test”, it is more meaningful and fruitful to say “I am thrilled with your attentiveness and the diligent study habits you used to earn that ‘A.’ Achievement is the end result of the integrated efforts of everyone in a club, on a team or in a classroom. Achievement is based on skills, abilities, and opportunities, which differ from person to person. Character however is not based on skill or ability, nor is it limited by opportunity. Character qualities can and should be developed by everyone, regardless of age, training, or position.
Bench Notice
How Do I Build Character?
You Build Character By:
Identifying specific attributes that make you a person of character.
Focusing on one character quality at a time in order to understand its nature, importance, and benefits.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, Look, up in the sky!
It’s a bird!
It’s a plane!
It’s Superman!
Yes. It’s Superman, strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the American Way.
Great stuff, but with those powers anyone with a deviant mind was always out to get him. He always stood in the way of those who were counter to the American Way and put the kibosh to their plans. They figured it out over time though and discovered his weakness. No, it wasn’t Lois Lane rather it was the remains of the planet Krypton that exploded upon his departure to earth. Kryptonite took the man of steel and turned him into a mortal man and if he got a big enough dose of the stuff it would kill him. As kids we dreaded the time when Superman was going to be in contact with Kryptonite and discovered that Superman was a mere mortal when George Reeves the actor who played Superman allegedly committed suicide on June 16, 1959.
In reality Kryptonite doesn’t exist in physical form but the concept of it does. There are many things and individuals that weaken us. There are kids that weaken, spouses that weaken, philosophies, theories,and policies that weaken. There are systems that weaken, government can weaken, and religion at times can weaken. As an example it only takes one or two behavior problems in a classroom to make the students and at times the teacher feel unsafe to the point where the entire class is weakened and learning almost becomes impossible.
Religion and spirituality is a great way for many to quell fears, and deal with the stresses of life. If the leader of a group or organization though becomes bigger than the group itself and uses his/her position to control others with the use of their Svengoli powers the individuals who are part of the group can become more reliant on him/her than on what the group actually represents. This can produce weak and fearful followers who unwittingly have been lead into a cult.
What one generation does in moderation the next one does in excess. Once a society has been weakened inter-generationally meaning over time the battle for truth, justice, and the American Way becomes all that more difficult. We begin to lean more toward the path of least resistance and mediocrity and become more focused on political correctness than on the truth. The habits, beliefs, and thoughts, that had their origin forty years ago that were meant for good have become twisted and are now used as either a crutch or worse yet as an excuse for deviant behavior.
Yes the schools are filled with Kryptonite and more and more of it is being brought into classrooms everyday by families, society, and by some of the faulty theories and philosophies that have been communicated in our colleges and universities. The educational system has been weakened and needs to be looked at through a different lens, with a paradigm shift starting to take place.
Bench Notice
I have really taken a good hard look at the way things are today as opposed to the way they used to be. I have gone off on tangents at conferences and did nothing but speak from my heart. I feel as though my way of thinking is slowly becoming extinct, but I believe that regardless of popular opinion or political correctness I have a voice, I mean everyone else does right? I have written hundreds of essays and blog posts but, the fifteen essays contained in this book are the essays that describe what I call the Kryptonite Syndrome and explain what really is weakening our schools and at times weakening us as a society.
Think of the lizard. It spends most of its life on the ground, envying the birds and indignant at its fate and its shape. “I am the most disliked of all the creatures,” it thinks. “Ugly, repulsive, and condemned to crawl along the ground.”One day, though, Mother Nature asks the lizard to make a cocoon. The lizard is startled -it has never made a cocoon before. It thinks that it is building his tomb, and prepares to die. Although unhappy with life it has led up until then, it complains to God: “Just when I finally became accustomed to things, Lord, you take away what little I have.”In desperation, it locks himself into the cocoon and awaits the end. Some days later, it finds that it has been transformed into a beautiful Butterfly. It is able to fly to the sky, and it is greatly admired.
in Maktub by Paulo Coelho
Change is not easy it’s difficult especially when we have spent a lifetime climbing the ladder of success only to discover after years of struggling that the ladder may have been leaning against the wrong wall. Understanding change can help us to realize the process and keep us from making decisions that are based on impulse and emotions. There are steps in the change process that we must consider if we are going to transform ourselves and become the best that we can be personally and professionally. Take a look at the power presentation below. Open in a new window for better viewing.
“To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.” Theodore Roosevelt
Sometimes I believe that we have it backwards. We focus so heavily on a person’s academic growth that we fail to address how they will use this new found knowledge. There are plenty of intelligent deviant people, who use their smarts to hurt and not help. My point here is that virtue needs to come first and then knowledge. Knowledge without virtue can create some pretty arrogant people with heads so big that no hat will fit. We can’t legislate morals, and we won’t be judged based upon the level of our intelligence, but we will judged in the court of public opinion based upon who we are as a person if in fact our moral compass goes south.
In order to be transformed we need to focus on character and help our students focus on it as well. It needs to be taught and we need to learn about the qualities that need to be strengthened in ourselves and then take the steps to do so.
When our compass points north it is my contention that we will be happier as a person, and far more proficient in the roles that we are responsible for. (Spouse, son, daughter, mother, father, teacher, etc.)
I like you, but I don’t like your behavior. This little gem came out of the self-esteem movement of the 60’s and 70’s. Certain phrases or philosophies that may have worked 50 years ago may suffer from an over-use injury or are just antiquated. Students who are rude, discourteous, and disrespectful can be difficult to like. Ask yourself this: if you were treated by an adult in the same negative manner as a student treated you, how hard would it be to stand by this statement? Pretty tough. Our students do become adults, who may not be liked because of their behavior. I am not saying that you should tell kids that you don’t like them. What I am saying is that they know all too well that we don’t. Our body language, attitudes, and words are all indicators of how we feel about certain students. Some kids are very tough to get close to, and in reality, to like. Don’t let your thoughts dictate your actions; fake it, bite the bullet, and keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Do whatever it takes to build a relationship with the student who is unlikable and a potential disruptive force in your classroom. Once we come clean with our real emotions, our influence will be greater and we will then begin to facilitate lasting change.
Bench Notice
Just a side note here. Standing to closely to this statement could produce greater acceptance of deviant behavior and a failure to enforce appropriate consequence. Sometimes we use this statement because we are afraid of a kid or the parent who berates the school and the teacher because they’re afraid of their own kid as well. Try to understand your motives when you say” I like you, but I don’t like your behavior.”
Parents who are angry and irate can wreak havoc in a school and can be intimidating. Learn how to defuse power struggles and maintain your dignity, and the dignity of the parent as you handle planned and unplanned parent /teacher conferences.This is a 5 hour self study course. The participants may be eligible for 5 hours of professional development credit.
