I like you, but I don’t like your behavior. This little gem came out of the self-esteem movement of the 60’s and 70’s. Certain phrases or philosophies that may have worked 50 years ago may suffer from an over-use injury or are just antiquated. Students who are rude, discourteous, and disrespectful can be difficult to like. Ask yourself this: if you were treated by an adult in the same negative manner as a student treated you, how hard would it be to stand by this statement? Pretty tough. Our students do become adults, who may not be liked because of their behavior. I am not saying that you should tell kids that you don’t like them. What I am saying is that they know all too well that we don’t. Our body language, attitudes, and words are all indicators of how we feel about certain students. Some kids are very tough to get close to, and in reality, to like. Don’t let your thoughts dictate your actions; fake it, bite the bullet, and keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Do whatever it takes to build a relationship with the student who is unlikable and a potential disruptive force in your classroom. Once we come clean with our real emotions, our influence will be greater and we will then begin to facilitate lasting change.

Bench Notice

Just a side note here. Standing to closely to this statement could produce greater acceptance of deviant behavior and a failure to enforce appropriate consequence. Sometimes we use this statement because we are afraid of a kid or the parent who berates the school and the teacher because they’re afraid of their own kid as well. Try to understand your motives when you say” I like you, but I don’t like your behavior.”