by James Burns | Jun 5, 2018 | Anti Bullying Coaching and Resources, Education, James Burns, Parents, The Bully Proof Classroom
Parent Education and Coaching
Parent Education and Coaching is designed to educate parents in order to help them manage their child’s behaviors in the home that are impacting the family dynamic. This disruption can lead to school related behaviors that require the child to be disciplined in school causing greater stress, lack of patience, frustration, and at times can result in the parenting disciplining the child in anger.
The goal is to provide the skills and strategies to the parent to help deal with their child and his/her behavior as part of an educational process and then provide coaching along the way to help the parent build confidence in the discipline process and their parenting skills.
This is not therapy, it is education provided by a trained teacher, administrator, college instructor and who is a parent himself. Any recommendations made are done so with the best interest of the child and parent in mind and are designed to provide permanent help not temporary relief. Change is a step of faith and the process is not an overnight one but one that helps restore order and points both the child and parent in the direction of lifelong success and a stronger parent child relationship.
Some Behaviors That Are Addressed
- Disrespect
- Irresponsibility
- Non-Compliance
- Bullying
- Victimization as a Result of Bullying
- Lack of Motivation
- Anger Issues
- Disaffected Behavior
This program is designed to educate parents and works exclusively with the parent. If the child is experiencing clinical issues such as depression, anxiety, or appears to be affected by events within the family a trained therapist should be used to address these issues. We will work with the therapist upon the parent’s request.
What is Provided
(6) Six face to face meetings per year with the parent’s and their child
(4) Four webinars per month addressing some of the behaviors listed above or specific behaviors as explained by the parent. These webinars will be one hour in length.
(4) Four emails per month initiated by the parent that provide specific behaviors that require specific answers regarding their child as geographically possible.
(2) Two scheduled telephone conversation per month of 30 minutes or less that address a specific problem that is occurring.
Cost
The cost for the services listed above is $300 dollars per month payable via paypal. Payments would be due on the first of every month.
Any additions to the above services would result in an hourly fee of $50 dollars per hour or any part thereof.
Initial Consultation is Free
James H Burns MA, DHL
For more information call: 732.773.9855 or,
Email: jameshburns55@gmail.com
by James Burns | Jun 4, 2018 | Bully Proof Classroom, Compliance, James Burns, Parents, Teachers
STOP asking and Start Telling. If you want students to comply you have to stop giving choices and tell students exactly what you want them to do. Choices are something we all want and should be offered at times, but when there is a specific behavior you that you want your students to exhibit allowing choice only promotes confusion on the part of the students and frustration for the teacher. Compliance before choice is something that all students should understand. Students can’t say and do what they want when they want to do it. This 13 page guide provides instructions on how to do it with illustrations from the authors life and provides the language that will empower the teacher and create a positive school climate.
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by James Burns | Apr 3, 2018 | Bully Proof Classroom, Effective and Efficient, James Burns
When you are an effective teacher, your teaching takes hold, and your students slowly but surely learn from you, and the learning is permanent. Remember, too much too fast won’t last. It is much better to spend 10 days teaching one skill that your students will be able to use for a lifetime, than teaching 10 different skills in 10 days that your students will forget the day after you taught them. The problem that you may be faced with is being expected to move quickly through an overly ambitious curriculum. If you have the sense that your students have not grasped a concept, then spend more time on it.
When you are efficient, you have the ability to take care of the day to day administrative paperwork that seems to be never ending such as attendance, grading papers, your grade book, your lesson plans, etc. in an efficient manner. Administrative items must be dealt with efficiently so that you are freed up to teach. Understanding the difference between being effective and being efficient will help you understand what is important and what you need to devote their time to.
Characteristics of Effective Teachers
- Effective teachers have mastered their subject, are well read, and can answer questions spontaneously about what they teach.
- When the effective teacher lectures, he or she is well prepared and can carry on a discussion in an orderly manner
- Effective teachers can relate their subject area to real life circumstances and offers practical illustrations to enhance student understanding
- Effective teachers know how to check for understanding. They encourage students’ questions and opinions.
- The effective teacher is enthusiastic about his/her subject area and communicates this to his/her students.
- The effective teacher is approachable, friendly, and makes himself/herself available to his or her students after school hours.
- Effective teacher are concerned about their students’ and places a high priority on their achievement.
- The effective teacher has a sense of humor and knows how to motivate his/her students will humorous stories and appropriate jokes.
- The effective teacher displays warmth, and kindness, and does his or her best to understand student circumstances that may interfere with their academic success.
- The effective teacher knows how to use their resources and is not afraid to ask for help when needed.
CHARACTERISTICS OF EFFICIENT TEACHERS
- The efficient teacher understands and is sensitive to administrative timelines.
- The efficient teacher understands the policies and procedures of the school.
- Efficient teachers have daily routines for completing lunch counts, taking attendance, and grading work, and recording of grades.
- The efficient teacher makes time to call parents and schedules meeting with administration and other teachers as needed.
- Teachers, who are efficient, have procedures in place to manage supplies such as pencils, paper, and other non-teaching items.
- The efficient teacher keeps a neat and orderly work environment.
- Teachers who are efficient set goals for the entire school year, and plan their objectives for each lesson on a weekly basis.
- The teacher, who is efficient, knows how they are going to handle problems with students, parents, administration, and other teachers before they happen.
- The efficient teacher knows how to cut through red tape and does his/her job regardless of any outside circumstance that may interfere with student learning.
- The efficient teacher is concerned with teaching and takes responsibility for the academic success of his or her students.
The Behavior Management Toolbox
by James Burns | Mar 28, 2018 | Anti Bullying, Anti Bullying 101, Anti Bullying Coaching and Resources, Anti Bullying Tips, Sandy Hook, School Shootings
Why is it that every time a school shooting occurs that everyone who knows or knew the perpetrator identifies him/her as a troubled person who was reclusive and exhibited all manner of anti social behavior? Never fails. Here are some of the comments that have been made about Adam Lanza the perpetrator who entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown Connecticut and opened fire on December 15, 2012 killing 26 people, 20 of them were children.
“Adam Lanza has been a weird kid since we were five years old,” said Tim Dalton, a neighbor and former classmate, on Twitter. “As horrible as this was, I can’t say I am surprised.”
“This was a deeply disturbed kid,” a family insider said. “He certainly had major issues. He was subject to outbursts from what I recall.”
A further family friend said he had acted as though he was immune to pain.
“A few years ago when he was on the baseball team, everyone had to be careful that he didn’t fall because he could get hurt and not feel it,” said the friend. “Adam had a lot of mental problems.”
“It was almost painful to have a conversation with him, because he felt so uncomfortable,” said Olivia DeVivo, who sat behind him in English. “I spent so much time in my English class wondering what he was thinking.”
“He didn’t fit in with the other kids.” “He was very, very shy. He wouldn’t look you in the eyes when he talked. He didn’t really want to lock eyes with you for very long.”
It’s almost as if everybody knows, but nobody cares, or maybe they do care but really don’t know what to do. They continue to walk amongst us being spoken about as weird by neighbors and family members who wish they could take a peak into their secret life and discover what conclusions they have drawn about life. Who or what are they angry at, and what measures will they take to get even with the world maybe for just being born.
Revenge: the greatest motivator known to mankind. It’s been around since Cain and Abel affecting those who have been victimized by life, either physically, emotionally, or mentally. The problem is the victims get even with the wrong people.According to the United States Secret Service since 1999 thirty seven of the school shootings that have occurred have been carried out by those who were victims of bullying.
Bullies are motivated and driven by power, victims are motivated by revenge. Victims are compilers. They compile information about people who have victimized them and about their inabilities to speak or act with confidence. They do this until their cup just plain runs over. The pain has to go somewhere which is why after the victim exacts his revenge he/she will usually take their own life.
“There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly clear. There’s a man with a gun over there. Telling me I’ve got to beware.” For What It’s Worth – Buffalo Springfield
A Unit Plan On Respect
A Unit Plan On Responsibility
A Unit Plan On Resilience
Motivating Disaffected and Hard To Handle Students
by James Burns | Mar 27, 2018 | Academics, Grading Practices, James Burns, Self Esteem, The Bully Proof Classroom
How do you feel when you’ve accomplished something? Better yet how do you feel when you’ve accomplished something and you’ve worked long and hard at it? Whether it’s losing weight, finishing college at 40 years old, quitting smoking. or solving a problem that you’ve encountered for the first time it feels great when you look back and can say it didn’t beat me, I got it done. The relief of knowing that the task is complete lifts a tremendous amount of emotional weight off your shoulders. It’s not just how you feel about getting the job done, and putting a check mark next to the task on the to – do list that makes you feel good, It’s how you feel about yourself and what it does to your own level of self esteem that really makes the difference. You begin to feel more confident in other areas of life and are not so resistant to try something new again for fear of failure. Kids are no different, once they experience success they are more open to trying new things and are not as resistant to instruction because in their mind they know that they have had past successes. Those past successes though have to be true successes, kids can’t be given a false sense of their abilities in grade one by being given good grades for their work because by the time they reach the second or third grade they will discover just how much they don’t know leading to low self esteem and ultimately fear of failure.
The only way to avoid this potential problem from occurring is to consistently hold students accountable for their work, have high academic expectations, and to work students until you are convinced that they have mastered the material that was taught them. Once students are convinced that you will not accept shoddy work and they will have to do work over and over again until their grade is acceptable they will work to get the assignment right the first time. After the student puts the work in and achieves success, and really know the concept being taught he/she to will look back and say to him or herself that this assignment didn’t beat me. Giving poor grades doesn’t lower student self esteem. Low self esteem comes when the student doesn’t understand the concepts and is not given the opportunity to improve. Tougher grading practices hold students accountable for an acceptable grade, and provides additional instruction to ensure that the student has the opportunity to master the material. Students need opportunities to succeed but, they also need opportunities to fail. It is those failures that should be the red flag for the teacher as to what the student doesn’t know. Once those failures are overcome, a sense of success will encourage the student to be more diligent in his efforts and improve how he or she feels about themselves academically.
