Don’t fret if you lost you way and didn’t pay attention to the significant others in your life. The past is the past, right? Wrong. The past can and will dictate the future if we allow ourselves to be measured based on our failures rather than our successes. Let’s face it. We all have failed or fallen short from time to time. Just because we have failed does not mean we are a failure. It just means we did the best with what we knew at the time. Parents can do this once they take a look at the lifestyle or the behavior of their grown children. If you are a parent, take heart: you did your best with the information you had in the process of raising your children. If you are a teacher and have had your share of problems and headaches and feel like the funds are low and the debts are high, don’t look back. Don’t drive while looking in the rear view mirror; you will hit a future tree. Gandhi once said, “Be the change we wish to see in the world.” What changes do you want? A kinder and gentler place for kids to come, have fun, and learn? Realize that you are the one that has the capacity to facilitate the change. Have you goofed up in the past? So what? The past is the past, so please don’t ever let it remind you of what you are now. Let the past remind you of what the future holds when you finally let go.
If that’s the attitude that everyone has, suppose no one is giving it? How about if everyone was giving it? I like the latter much better. Everyone has a choice, but the decision to display the quality of respect can’t be predicated on whether or not we are receiving it. This is not easy, it’s hard I know. I would highly recommend that everyone pick up a copy of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. (See Below) The first habit is to Be Proactive. A decision to be respectful to everyone should be made well before we are confronted with disrespect. Those decisions are made way down deep in the chambers of our own soul. Help your students make the decision now to be respectful all the time to everyone. If we all give it; we all get it.
Having a high regard for the rights and privileges of another person; that’s respect. It doesn’t say who the person is or the position that they have in life; it says another person. Too often those who are down trodden or who are on the lower end of the economic scale can be treated with a greater degree of disrespect than others. The homeless on the street have the same blood running through their veins as everyone else does. We don’t have to agree with someone’s lifestyle or even their attitude. Our job is to respect everyone as a human being that shares this world with us.
Character is truly far more important than achievement. Theodore Roosevelt once said “To educate a person in the mind but not in morals is to educate a menace to society.” Teaching character is something that we all attempt to do, but because of lock step lesson planning and curriculum time lines we never seem to have the freedom to correctly work on this important topic in our classrooms. Sometimes there is more caught then taught. So, make the time to discuss situations that involve lying, stealing, cheating, bullying, bad mouthing, etc. Search for character education programs and lesson plans and make the time so you can force it into your day or your week. Do your best, and remember your main focus should be teaching the qualities of respect, and responsibility.
Bench Notice
Character; what we do when no one is looking. In the teaching profession everyone is looking. And, with the use of social media people are really looking. We can’t legislate morals but we will be judged based upon the court of public opinion. We all know the difference between right and wrong. Don’t allow you impulses get in the way of your good name. Life is based upon gain and loss, whether someone is looking or not. If there is any immediate gain to be had from behavior that could be interpreted as inappropriate or even immoral ask yourself if the long term consequence is worth it. Whether we want to believe it or not; people are watching.
Children can’t pick their parents, when and where they were born, their physical condition when they were born, their siblings, or even their intelligence. They are influenced by many of these things, not determined, but influenced. They have choices and can always change their response to the influence. As adults because of our own philosophy we can make excuses for children based upon their circumstance, and begin to argue for the child’s weakness. Don’t: accountability is the key regardless of circumstance. A child’s problems might be organic, behavioral, environmental, or psychological. The problems may be clinical or conduct, the circumstances don’t determine accountability. They merely help us understand the reason for the behavior. After a consequence is imposed we can then look at the child’s behavior objectively and offer alternatives to help avoid future problems.
Bench Notice
We are falling further and further into the gray abyss. Too many things are relative and nothing is definite. In years past it wasn’t a matter of if someone was going to get in trouble for lying, stealing, fighting or even just be tardy to school; it was when. Parents can talk their kids out of anything today, and they have done a pretty good job of teaching this to their children. Oh, it helps avoid the immediate consequences, but what they don’t realize is that by default they are agreeing with their child’s behavior when they argue for their weaknesses. Behaviors that will escalate causing the child to believe that it is okay to lie, steal, fight, and be disrespectful; sometime.
Parents who are angry and irate can wreak havoc in a school and can be intimidating. Learn how to defuse power struggles and maintain your dignity, and the dignity of the parent as you handle planned and unplanned parent /teacher conferences.This is a 5 hour self study course. The participants may be eligible for 5 hours of professional development credit.
