Children can’t pick their parents, when and where they were born, their physical condition when they were born, their siblings, or even their intelligence. They are influenced by many of these things, not determined, but influenced. They have choices and can always change their response to the influence. As adults because of our own philosophy we can make excuses for children based upon their circumstance, and begin to argue for the child’s weakness. Don’t: accountability is the key regardless of circumstance. A child’s problems might be organic, behavioral, environmental, or psychological. The problems may be clinical or conduct, the circumstances don’t determine accountability. They merely help us understand the reason for the behavior. After a consequence is imposed we can then look at the child’s behavior objectively and offer alternatives to help avoid future problems.

Bench Notice

We are falling further and further into the gray abyss. Too many things are relative and nothing is definite. In years past it wasn’t a matter of if someone was going to get in trouble for lying, stealing, fighting or even just be tardy to school; it was when. Parents can talk their kids out of anything today, and they have done a pretty good job of teaching this to their children. Oh, it helps avoid the immediate consequences, but what they don’t realize is that by default they are agreeing with their child’s behavior when they argue for their weaknesses. Behaviors that will escalate causing the child to believe that it is okay to lie, steal, fight, and be disrespectful; sometime.