Life Lessons
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Bullying and Social Media
On March 20 Jim and I had a very special guest- Dr. Michael Nuccitelli, a forensic/clinical consultant who has done his homework when it comes to internet predators and cyber bullying. We discussed the social media sites available today (ie. Facebook, Twitter, etc.). Dr. Nuccitelli educated us on the following statistics:
Facebook- 5 million out of the 7.5 million people under 18 are 10 years old and under.
At any given time, there are 750,000 online predators.
Only 10% of children being cyber bullied tell their parents, most likely for fear of losing their internet privileges. What’s the solution, parents? Dr. Nuccitelli says to tell your kids that they will never lose their internet privileges, as long as they are open and honest with you.
But what if your child isn’t being completely honest with you? Here are some signs to look out for:
1. Your child’s internet history is cleared.
2. He/She turns off the computer when you enter the room.
3. Your child is upset when he/she gets off the computer.
Jim says the signs to look for are:
- Rapid Behavioral Shift (RBS)
- Increased Isolation
- Familial Withdrawal
Parents : this website is a great tool to use so that you can be further educated on proper internet etiquette (digital citizenship): http://www.auburn.edu/academic/education/citizenship/
Please check out my music and current projects at www.devynrush.com andwww.youtube.com/devynrushmusic. Follow me on Twitter: @devynrush, and email me at devynrush@heyugly.org.
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Bully Proof Assurance
This is an absolutely great article.
The mission of BULLY PROOF ASSURANCE is to extinguish bullying behavior by building a national community committed to shining a bright light on a national and global crisis. We hope to provide students who become victims with a secure network of support which begins with the opportunity to report incidents of bullying in anonymity. Too often bullying is not reported or ignored creating circumstances which lead to untold human suffering and significant cost to every taxpayer.
Bullying behavior has accelerated to epidemic proportions. Upwards to twenty five percent of U.S. students are bullied annually and twenty percent of high school students say they have seriously considered committing suicide within the last twelve months. Thirty percent of students who reported they had been bullied said they had at times brought a weapon to school. Nationally, more than 160,000 students stay home from school daily (NEA) due to bullying. Two thirds of those students involved in school shootings were bullied, and two thirds of victims become bullies. A bully is five times more likely to have a serious criminal record and six times more likely to be incarcerated by the age of 24. All of this translates into a serious financial burden on an already overburdened judicial system.
The root cause of bullying and its financial burden is found in the character of American parents. Bullies are not born, but are created over time when certain behavioral dynamics allow the behavior to evolve. BULLYPROOF ASSURANCE desires to tap into the best of us and, like Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, work relentlessly to increase awareness of the problem, create an honest and genuine national conversation which in time will result in better parenting. We recognize the potential resistance associated with this project. Politics and political correctness will always be used to avoid responsibility. But schools which demonstrate high levels of success by many measures, including standardized test scores, and operate in the worst socio economic conditions show us that children can thrive if parents and the school are on the same page. Too many American schools and parents are not on the same page and there has been much bad parenting. Our society needs to take ownership of this issue. If we improve our parenting, we can reduce bullying, increase respect and responsibility, and keep some money in our pockets. Join us.
Feelings vs. Emotions
I had the pleasure of speaking with Jim Burns on our blog talk radio show this past Tuesday about the differences between feelings and emotions. For the purpose of our discussion, we defined feelings as the overall demeanor; our disposition. Emotions were defined as the way we feel day-to-day and sometimes minute-to-minute. By understanding the difference, we are able to view bullying in a new light.
Did you ever wake up in the morning, stub your toe as you’re getting out of bed, and say, “Ugh. It’s going to be one of those days…”? Suddenly, you feel out of sorts and frustrated, maybe even angry at your bed or the object that just hurt your toe. Then, for the rest of the day, you feel agitated. Everything gets under your skin, and you just wish you were back in bed. You might have a thought like, “Where am I today? I’m not being myself.” Sure you are. You are absolutely being yourself. This is a dimension of yourself coming out, that perhaps you don’t like. But regardless, it is you. You might as well accept it and learn to love it just as much as the dimension you define as “yourself.” And do you know why? Because this is just one emotion you are experiencing.
Your overall demeanor is hopefully one of a happy, content, joyful person. Maybe it’s not. But the first step to changing, is recognizing the things you are AND the things you are not. The next step is accepting your dimensions. And the third is loving them. It might sound crazy to love yourself when you’re feeling angry, thus making everyone around you miserable. But a huge part of being angry is the resistance that comes with it. What if, on a day when you felt angry, you were to accept it and say, “I don’t feel well today, and I love myself for it.”? What if?
What if you could switch your thoughts? After-all, “what you resist persists.”
You can’t give someone something you don’t have. When I speak at schools nationally through Hey U.G.L.Y. (Unique.Gifted.Lovable.You.- www.heyugly.org), I sing and talk to the students about feelings vs. emotions. We discuss how our emotions are directly correlated to how we interact with and treat other people throughout the day. You could be an overall happy person having a “bad” day, or you could be an overall nice person who is making other people feel agitated and angry, because you’re having a “bad” day. By choosing to accept these temporary emotions, we build our self-love, thus breaking the cycle and being able to give love to other people!
So accept yourself today. No matter what you are feeling/emoting. Choose acceptance.
Please check out my music and current projects at www.devynrush.com andwww.youtube.com/devynrushmusic. Follow me on Twitter: @devynrush, and email me at devynrush@heyugly.org.
My debut EP (due to release inMay) is now available for pre-order. Please email me if you are interested in a copy!
A Special Thank-You to my wonderful guitarist and friend, Charlie Rauh, who gave Jim and me so many great ideas for our discussion.
You can listen to this entire show by clicking on the blog talk radio banner on the bottom right.
Mutual Confidence Is The Foundation Of All Satisfactory Human Relationships.
I really enjoy Napoleon Hill. Trust is something is something we need to teach to our kids if they are going to have successful relationships in their lives. Kids who have been targets of bullying don’t trust anyone, and believe that no one cares about them. Prove them wrong, and help them establish trusting and lasting relationships with others. It will make a difference in their lives going forward. This is Napoleon Hill’s thought for today. It just fits.
Most of us have two basic questions about others when we enter into a relationship. They are: Can I trust you? And, do you really care about me? Depending upon our previous success in partnerships with others — personal or business — the answers may be slow in coming. Confidence in another is often developed gradually as those involved in the relationship commit themselves to each other’s success and happiness. Although trust and confidence are the basic underpinnings of all successful relationships, they are fragile. A relationship that has endured for months or even years can be irreparably damaged by a few unkind words or a single thoughtless act. Don’t allow yourself to act in haste or to lose control of your emotions in important relationships.
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