The sources of the most painful offenses are not usually actions, but attitudes. People who offend others unintentionally are judged with less severity than those who intend to hurt. Even in law, the intent behind a crime is a factor in assessing the guilt of the one who stands before the judge.
This is one area that is the most difficult to change in ourselves or in our students. We ask our students to do things all the time and they should comply with our request. But really, it’s not completely about the compliance but more about the attitude when they comply. Are they resentful and angry and is it like pulling teeth to get them to cooperate with even the smallest task?
Character is truly what a person does when no one is looking. A bully will always act when no one is looking. They will deny their hurtful actions and blame others for their behavior. Begin correcting the attitudes of your students, by doing so you will prepare them for a better future. But, more importantly you will help them to evaluate the intent of their actions.
Bench Notice
The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is a rare ability. Our desire to get what we want when we want it is an attitude that can get us in trouble; either financially, behaviorally, or in terms of our relationship with others. Even adults ask for things and when they don’t get them have a difficult time understanding the word “No” and can go on a rant or just refuse to go away until they change the mind of the person they are arguing with. This has become an inter-generational problem with the intensity increasing with every passing year. It’s time to learn to debate issues with the right attitude, and when i’ts all said and done begin to understand the position of another person. “Seek First To Understand Then To Be Understood.”
No one likes a bully, and yet they’re everywhere, even in our Christmas movies! But never fear, these misfits end up becoming the heroes of their stories and saving the day!
While it may seem like an odd topic to discuss during the holiday season, Christmas movies provide on opportunity for you to talk about bullying with your children. Why? Many classic holiday movies are full of bullies. Here are a few examples:
There is a bit more to the moral than the one mentioned in this article. Yes, bullying isn’t cool, but the victim doesn’t always win in the end. For a young child watching these movies hope can spring eternal until they get back to school and have another run in with the school bully. During the holidays bullying can create greater isolation, exclusion, and loneliness than during other times during the year.
In reality for those that suffer at the hands of a bully the world can be a pretty lonely place, and can be extra painful during the holidays. (Whatever the holiday might be) Reach out as much as you can to give hope to one person and let them know how much they mean to you. There are those that are in physical need for sure, but recognizing the mental and emotional needs of people can help those that are victims begin to realize that the world may not be so lonely after all.
Despite widespread institutional efforts, including initiatives on both the federal and local levels, bullying continues to plague schools and even adult environments all over the country. The unfortunate reality is that most bullies aren’t mature enough to empathize with their targets and thus often subject them to traumatic and potentially life-altering harassment. While bullies may be able to walk away and later disregard their past behavior as just them being kids many victims often develop a lifetime of emotional baggage that follows them into their adulthood, including mental illness, low self-esteem and even problems with drugs and alcohol.
Although this article may be trying to enlist the services of Behavioral Health of Palm Beach to help with the problem of addiction and bullying, it makes some great points that should be considered as a resource Often adults don’t recognize that the PTSD that they are suffering from is an indication of the past imprint related to bullying. As adults they may be addicted or have job related issues or even relationship or marital problems. As adults they are still working to try and discover themselves and where their moral compass is pointing.
As a school or even as a parent we need to recognize the clinical problems associated with bullying at an early age and the long term effects it can have on a person’s future behavior. Depression, anxiety, and social problems are all signs that their is something kicking around in a person’s thought process that is causing them to draw conclusions (both true and false) about who they are as individuals and how they view themselves in the world in which they live.
Schools need to make the connection between the clinical issues that a student is suffering from, anxiety etc, and the addiction problems that occurs as a result. Treating the addiction as schools do will help, but attacking the root problem is they key. If bullying is occurring in the school a futuristic approach needs to be taken in order to gain a view of the problems that lie ahead for the student. An approach needs to be taken that combines strengthening the victims of bullying, and making a determination if the behavior is conduct related (learned behavior) or clinically related (trauma influenced).
“Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom. But the personality formed in the environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the task of early adulthood – establishing independence and intimacy – burdened by major impairments in self-care, in cognition and in memory, in identity, and in the capacity to form stable relationships. She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she reencounters the trauma.” – Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence – from Domestic Violence to Political Terror
When our service men came back after World War II they were known to have been shell shocked or were suffering from battle fatigue. It wasn’t until more recently (within the last 20 years) that we began to refer to this condition as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This condition is related to the traumatizing events of a person’s childhood, or from other events that became part of the person’s imprinted memory. We really didn’t have much information about this condition sixty years ago, and our military veterans were left to flounder in a life of unemployment, alcoholism, and and marital problems. Our knowledge of this topic now has shed light on the fact that childhood neglect, abuse, and captivity has caused many of the symptoms that are very similar to the ones that our military men suffered and still suffer from today.
Those who have suffered from abuse, and neglect now have a condition referred to as Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), and many of our children today exhibit the same symptoms as our veterans did and still do only at a much earlier age. Knowing this should put parents and schools on notice that this condition needs to be treated early, with interventional strategies put in place to help alleviate the symptoms, and treat the root cause. Schools should take a psycho-educational approach and begin to create awareness of this condition and work with the students and the parents to keep this condition from becoming inter-generational and affecting future families and individuals.
Warning: This Video Contains Disturbing and Sensitive Content
Bench Notice
After watching this video it has become apparent that deviance has reached an all time high with morality beginning to scrape rock bottom. This is premeditated social media brain washing that preys on vulnerable children to get them to perform unspeakable acts. Writing this post almost disturbs me but I want every parent and child to be warned and to stay away from WhatsApp the platform for Momo. Parents need to become more vigilant now than ever before and monitor their child’s social media habits.
The government seems want to be involved in every aspect of our lives. They regulate, they monitor and at times tell us what we can and cannot do. Google probably know us all personally, we just don’t know it. It seems like a big brother of sorts is watching all the time.
The question: Where the hell are they now?. I don’t care about freedom of speech or some other law or rule that allows for free expression. This junk and the group of social engineers running this thing needs to be shut down immediately. Charges need to be filed by the FCC against the developers of Momo for violation of privacy and for encouraging kids to engage in acts that would bring harm to themselves or others.
Parents who are angry and irate can wreak havoc in a school and can be intimidating. Learn how to defuse power struggles and maintain your dignity, and the dignity of the parent as you handle planned and unplanned parent /teacher conferences.This is a 5 hour self study course. The participants may be eligible for 5 hours of professional development credit.
