A victim is a victim for many reasons. A bully has internal radar and can pick out the target for his antics rather quickly. Emotional and/or physical weakness is only one of the reasons that bullies use to harass and intimidate others. “A jury convicted Dharun Ravi, a former Rutgers University student, of hate crimes, witness tampering and other charges. Mr. Ravi used a webcam to spy on his roommate kissing another man in their dorm room. Tyler Clementi, the roommate, jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge three days after Mr. Ravi viewed him on the webcam.” (Taken from the NY Times) In today’s world where our schools are truly a melting pot of many races, creeds, colors, gender preferences, and religions it is truly our job as teachers to help our students to not only accept the differences in others but to value those differences. Dharum Ravi was not held responsible for the death of Tyler Clementi, but was convicted of a hate crime. Mr. Ravi didn’t have the capacity to value the differences, he hated them. Teach tolerance and acceptance to your students daily and help them understand and value the differences in others.
Bench Notice
In a world of so many people of different races, religion, and beliefs intolerance is no longer just about teaching it to our student’s but adults need to learn it as well. The above tip about the Tyler Clementi tragedy was written in 2011. My question here is, have things improved in the area of tolerance and acceptance? Just harboring intolerant thoughts in our secret life is bad enough. But now, those intolerant thoughts have translated into actions. Some of which have been catastrophic in terms of loss of life and permanent trauma to the individuals involved. In a previous post I wrote about James Franklin, a high school basketball player with epilepsy who was openly mocked by rival fans at a basketball game.
Behavior like intolerance is learned and can be by osmosis passed down from generation to generation increasing in intensity as it courses through the mind and body of children; who have had the fuse lit by the explosive behavior of intolerant adults.
Gandhi once said, “It is easier to build a boy than to mend a man.” We have to start building more tolerant and accepting children. That may only come when adults change their own hearts, and minds and start valuing the differences in others.
A fan from a rival high school basketball team flopped around on the floor during a game Friday to mock a player’s epilepsy, witnesses claim.
James Franklin Jr., a senior at Indianapolis’ Cathedral High School, had part of his brain removed in August 2017 to reduce his number of epileptic seizures. He’s battled epilepsy since childhood,Indy Star reported.In spite of everything, he still pursues his love of basketball.
Some people still haven’t grown up and probably never will. Publicly making fun of someone with a handicapping condition is something that should never be tolerated and I guess officials at the Center Grove are pretty embarrassed. I am not happy with their response and believe that their embarrassment will probably cause them to soft pedal this thing and it will end with a good talking to. Basically let’s kick it under the rug.
Center Grove staff said they never heard any of the seizure comments during the game, but that they were still investigating the claims.“We take all allegations seriously and are continuing to investigate who may have made those comments,” Center Grove officials wrote in the letter to parents.
Bench Notice
First of all it wasn’t the seizure comments,(Have another seizure) it was the student acting out like he was having a seizure. It was obvious and it was caught on tape. After watching the video, what is there to investigate. Sometimes people need to be guilty until proven innocent. In this case, “Due Process” may be taken a bit too far.
We need to spend more time valuing the differences in people and stop the abuse, and in this case valuing this students courage and desire to play the sport that he loves regardless of his condition. Franklin’s coach Jason Delaney called him “a warrior”
“No one sets a better example or fights harder than James Franklin,” Delaney said.
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — An online petition demands that bullying at Houston High School stop after a young man took his own life this week. Social media posts suggest the drama student was bullied a lot. But the exact reasons are unclear.
The reasons are unclear! Please. Bullied a lot and they’re looking for a reason. There are no reasons for treating someone disrespectfully, or in an unkind manner. The school may have turned a blind eye or they just don’t know how to deal with this type of abuse that produces this type of trauma in our young people today. We always seem to look for reasons why people act the way they do. Poor up bringing, abusive parents, alcoholism, addiction,or poor genetics to name a few. These all may have a large influence on a person’s life and could certainly lead them down the path of least resistance and potential mediocrity, but they must remain reasons and not turn into an excuses. These two words get interchanged readily in our society. When we hunt for a reason we may be trying to excuse away the behavior. Once the behavior is excused away the consequence is as well. Bullying is wrong and it must never be tolerated. There is no reason or excuse that can explain away the loss of a life. More time needs to be spent Strengthening The Victims Of Bullying so this horror stops giving parents nightmares. Bullies need to be held accountable with consequences that make a difference, not a slap on the wrist, and victims need to be strengthened so they can begin one again to have confidence, feel capable, and believe that they can contribute to the school they are attending.
The hardest thing to come to terms with, watching the video of a Syrian boy being bullied in a Huddersfield school that circulated last week, was the sense of inevitability to it. The degradation of the country’s political culture continues to play out: it has been poisoned by Brexit, jaundiced by Islamophobia, while anti-immigrant sentiment has been normalized by the Conservative government. We’ve been heading here for years, decades even – to a place where a refugee can flee a civil war to Britain’s safe shores, only to face another type of barbarism, and become a refugee again.
I have spoken about this problem for years. As a society we have been brainwashed by the news outlets that do nothing more then spout off about their own philosophy and right or left wing beliefs. It has now become an inter-generational problem as evidenced by this article. Here is what I wrote almost 10 years ago about this topic in Anti Bullying 101.
FOX – CNN – MSNBC
Yes, I know all cable outlets for the news. Is it news, or is it the networks slant on the news? I think you know the answer. It is no longer just reporting the news. It’s reporting the new based upon the political views of the network. In homes across the country opinions are being formed by adults who listen to the thoughts of so called reporters, and experts who want everyone to believe that their network is fair and balanced. Thoughts about different countries, races, religions, ethnicity, and all manner of current events can enter homes with the click of a remote.
Do families talk about the news? Of course they do. The problem is they are not forming an opinion based upon their own values rather the values of others. How does this relate to bullying? The bias that may result in homes regarding the differences in others impacts our students. This negative communication filters down by osmosis and our students form negative attitudes and can become prejudicial in their thinking. What parents fail to understand is that their children attend school everyday with other students of very different backgrounds. Adults need to understand how their thoughts, words, actions, attitudes, and motives affect their children. It is far easier to build a boy than to mend a man. Know who is in front of you. Prejudice is learned it’s not genetic. Let’s all learn to value the differences.
Last week the New York Post reported on the suicide of a 13-year-old Staten Island boy who had been relentlessly bullied at his Catholic school. Danny Fitzgerald’s parents posted his sad and touching letter on Facebook.It’s another example of why bullying is not good for children — or for anyone.
What’s more, the deleterious effects are no longer confined to the playground. They continue long after students close the schoolyard gate, several studies say. It turns out that not only do people being bullied suffer long-term emotional problems, but so do the bullies.
Editor’s Note: This story was originally published on Feb. 20, 2013, and was updated by Roberta Alexander on August 16, 2016.
In the final analysis the victim suffers from the scars of bullying. The bully suffers from guilt of knowing how much pain he inflicted on others. You can’t turn back the clock but you can seek out the people that were bullied in a heartfelt way through social media venues and speak with them to ask for forgiveness. This is not easy, it’s hard. According to the research health problems arise because of guilt and bitterness from either being a bully or a victim. Bringing these two parties together later in life can make a difference in terms of their health and longevity. From a practical standpoint bullies need to held accountable at an early age and victims need to be strengthened to feel more capable and connected.
Parents who are angry and irate can wreak havoc in a school and can be intimidating. Learn how to defuse power struggles and maintain your dignity, and the dignity of the parent as you handle planned and unplanned parent /teacher conferences.This is a 5 hour self study course. The participants may be eligible for 5 hours of professional development credit.
