Leadership and Anti Bullying

by | Aug 8, 2011 | Bully Proof Classroom, Teachers

It doesn’t matter if you are a school teacher or a school administrator you are in the business of leadership as well as education. With all of the responsibilities that teachers have the one that is the most critical is the one that seems to get over looked and that is leadership. Principals and vice-principals have to lead, that is the nature of their position. However, many administrators lack leadership qualities for a variety of reasons many of which are personality based. Teachers who embrace leadership posses certain qualities that ultimately translates into them becoming effective school administrators. Teachers who aspire to be school administrators, principals and vice principals need to develop five essential qualities if they are going to be effective educational leaders

 

The First C of Effective Educational Leaders

 Character

 Character is a very abstract word and needs some type of definition in order to put some feet to this essential quality. Character is a set of behavior traits that define what sort of person an individual is. It determines whether a person will effectively achieve goals, be forthright in dealing with others and will obey the laws and rules of the group. Although character is related to personality, it is not the same thing. Personality is primarily inborn traits, while character consists of learned behavior and is usually taught to a person by his/her parents when they are very young. It would bode well for a person who is considering a leadership position to evaluate what their values are and decide if they have the character qualities that are necessary to effectively motivate, and inspire people to perform at their personal best. With that in mind I like to define character in very simple terms; “The ability to subordinate and impulse to a value.” An effective educational leader has a clear understanding of what his/her values are and has a core set of values and principals that they use to lead and base their decisions on.

 

Leaders make decisions based on who they are inside. They engage in activities based on

who they are inside. Without character a leader cannot “walk the talk” for the long-term.

Though he or she may start well, eventually the true character emerges and the path of

integrity is left behind for the path that gratifies self-serving desires. Hence, there are

situations where leaders espouse the talk but fail miserably in the implementation of the walk.

 

Character also determines how a leader will engage in the work of leadership. Those of

highly developed and noble character will handle problems with grace and tact, while

those of baser character will resort to such tactics as manipulation, power plays, over control, emotional outbursts, and tirades that tear down the one who is addressed.

Character then is a compass that shows which way to go. If the compass is off-kilter,

then so will be the steps of the leader.

 
The Second C

 Consistency

 I think that it is important to understand what the dictionary definition of consistency is: Consistency – steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc. There is consistency in his pattern of behavior. Check out the sentence that helps to define the word, educational leaders need to be consistent in their patterns of behavior. I also find it interesting that words like steadfast and principles are used. Educational leaders who are consistent produce security in the minds of the people who they are leading by creating an environment where everyone is aware of their methods of management and approach to solving problems. Teachers who are consistent, have clear expectations for their students have less behavior problems and spend more time teaching their students than disciplining them. Administrators who are consistent develop the same security in their staff and are viewed as a team player and who has the ability to see further down the road than those around him/her can.

 

The Third C

Confidence

 A confident leader knows what to do or how to go about finding out what to do in any given set of circumstances. Effective educational leaders know who they are and are confident in their own skin. Confident leaders know who they are. They not only know who they are but can they can separate who they are and who they want to be from what the world thinks they are and wants them to be. No one can teach a person how to become themselves, take charge, and to express themselves except the leader themselves. A confident leader knows how to teach themselves, accept responsibility (blame no one) and use their experience as a tool to reflect on their own performance. Confident leaders are not afraid of making mistakes and can admit their mistakes when they make them. They are not threatened by teachers or other administrators who may know more than them, rather they use these people as a resource to help improve instruction, student discipline, and school climate.

 

The Fourth C

 Commitment

 It really doesn’t matter what profession you are in if you are not committed to it failure is imminent. Educators have always had to struggle to make a descent salary and many of them have had to work other jobs just to be able to feed their families. Often these jobs are at night and may require a person to work late hours, maybe as late as midnight. This leaves little time for rest and preparation for the task the next day of working with students. Sometimes these jobs may pound for pound pay more than the persons teaching job and may provide a better income than teaching. It is extremely difficult to be committed to a profession that doesn’t provide the necessary income to meet the needs of a growing family. Personally I experienced this problem with commitment during my first ten years of teaching. I suffered from the teacher, bartender, painter, real estate salesman syndrome. I worked as many jobs as I could in order to make ends meet. It wasn’t until I realized that in order to be successful I had to commit myself to something for the long term. I chose to remain in teaching and worked to develop my skills and use my credentials as a teacher and an administrator. Everyone benefited when I committed myself to one thing. I did and so did my family. My students did, and so did my career. There was a sense of security that developed in my mind and in the minds of my children. I became steadier, consistent, and yes committed to my job. Getting committed and staying committed not only improved my outlook about my profession but about life as well.

 

The Fifth C

 Courage

 When we think of courage in light of educational leadership I think it is important to realize what are fears really are. In my experience I have found that that the biggest fear that most people have is the fear of other people. Angry parents, administrators who are dictatorial, and power hungry students all have the ability to instill fear in the hearts and minds of educators and can make their professional and personal lives almost unbearable. It is obvious that we can’t control others so we have to have the courage to change ourselves and have the courage to manage the behaviors of people that we would otherwise fear. Our own emotional maturity is the key to developing courage and having the ability to confront without condemning can create a balance between courage and consideration. Stephen Covey in his book “The 7Habits of highly Effective People” offers a wonderful definition of emotional maturity, “The ability to express one’s own feelings and convictions balanced with consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others.” Courage then is the ability to express your concerns and still have the ability to see life from another person’s point of view. As educational leaders we certainly don’t want to be treated like a four year old nor do we want to be a door mat for an angry parent or child. Expressing ourselves without creating a stressful and tense learning environment is a true example of courage.

 

The First Week Of October In New Jersey Is Respect Week

by | Jul 27, 2011 | Bully Proof Classroom, Parents, Teachers, Uncategorized

The New 3Rs in Education

Respect, Responsibility, and Relationships

Remember: All Schools in New Jersey Must Designate

The First Week of October as Respect Week

Everybody knows what the 3 R’s of teaching are – reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic.  But educators don’t totally understand that in order to teach these basic subjects successfully, they must constantly be working to develop respect and responsibility in their students.  No longer can it be assumed that children develop these attitudes at home.  Plus, teachers must learn how to build positive relationships with their students.  Strong teacher-student relationships naturally foster a positive and safe learning environment where much learning will take place and where all students will become capable, connected, and contributing members of their classrooms.

 

Jim Burns the author of “The New 3R’s In Education – Respect, Responsibility and Relationships” is scheduling in-services, workshops, conferences, and keynotes for the 2011-12 school year. Jim brings over 30 of experiences as well as practical strategies to help teachers, administrators, and parents teach respect, encourages responsible behavior in their students and explains how to build more positive relationships with their students and children.

 

LEARN PRACTICAL STRATEGIES THAT WILL TEACH THE NEW 3R’S

Teach respect, responsibility, and compliance

Learn how to build strong positive relationships with students and parents

Understand how principles, rules, and procedures create a secure safe environment

Create a fair, and consistent learning environment that will be calming to even your most difficult students

Understand how to give instruction, warnings, and correction

Receive a set of effective consequences for grades K-12 that will impact future behavior

Practice proven verbal responses you can use in a crisis situation

Build respect and rapport with your most difficult students

Develop language that confronts without condemning

Break through the emotional wall of your students and increase motivation and responsibility

ORDER YOUR COPY OF “THE NEW 3RS” BY CALLING

1-732-773-9855 FOR $19.99 + SHIPPING.


Who Will Parent The Parents?

by | Jun 10, 2011 | Bully Proof Classroom

I frequently think back to my childhood. I remember how my grandmother (Mom’s side) spent time at my house. To this day, she is still the sweetest old lady that I ever met. I was in an afternoon kindergarten program, and my grandmother took care of me during the mornings. Every morning when I woke up, she was sitting in a big chair right next to my bed. As soon as I opened my eyes she would wave and smile at me. I felt so secure seeing her in that chair. I really loved her a lot. My dad’s mom lived right up the street. When I became old enough, I used to walk over to her house, have lunch with her, do her grocery shopping for her, and then just hang around with her. She would give me a dollar for helping her. I saved those dollars to buy Christmas presents for my sisters, my mom, and my dad. Unfortunately, my dad’s mom passed away when I was thirteen, and I still miss her today. My mom’s mom passed away when I was nineteen, and that was another big loss that I still feel.

It really doesn’t matter how old you are. You still need parenting. Just because someone is grown and married doesn’t mean that they still don’t need guidance and direction. I watched my maternal grandmother help my mom deal with things all the time. Whether it was raising her kids or dealing with my dad, my mom always spoke to her and sought her advice. When she died, it was almost as if my mother’s wheels fell off, and she started to stumble through life and always seemed to be looking for answers to some of life’s most basic questions. She seemed to have greater difficulty being married to my dad and seemed angry at times until the day she died. When my dad’s mom died, I noticed that he would drink more, and go off on benders for a few days. It was almost as if he lost his check valve and didn’t feel accountable to anyone.

I am fifty six years old now and have been a teacher and administrator for thirty years. After working with and talking to countless parents, I have drawn the following conclusion: Parents need parenting! I have spoken to many adults my own age and have found that their relationship with their parents is strained or they’re not talking to their parents at all. I would ask them, “How long has it been since you spoke to your mom or dad,” expecting to hear that they just had a little spat and it was for a few days. A few days, try twenty years. During that twenty year period, I wonder how much wisdom they lost that they could have gotten from their parents. How much help with their children did they lose, or worse yet, what did the grandchildren lose because these parents despised their own mother or father?

No matter what the age, people need to be parented. Some individuals who have a poor relationship with their parents lose their grip on right and wrong and have a tremendous problem figuring out some of life’s most basic problems. These adult children often have a general sense of bitterness because of their poor relationship with their parents. They may feel resentful when they have problems raising their own children; because they become aware that they are receiving no direction or guidance from their own parents and that they have to figure everything out on their own. They might wonder what they’re going to do with their child or what’s wrong with their child. They should be asking what’s wrong with them. Their children enter school and become problems for the teacher. They don’t do what they’re told to do and are disrespectful and non-compliant. The teacher calls home only to find a disrespectful and non-compliant parent on the other end who is defensive and who believes that the school isn’t being fair to their child. They berate the teacher and blame the school for all of the problems that their son or daughter is experiencing.

This was an all too frequent scenario for me. I dealt with many parents with this type of attitude as a teacher and as an administrator. In one district, I chose to run a parent support group. When I started the group I had seventy-five parents. They all did nothing but complain about the behavior of their kids and blamed the school for the problems their kids were experiencing. Once they discovered that I wasn’t going to play the blame game, my group dwindled down to a precious few and ultimately had to be discontinued.

Parents want help, but they want the wrong kind of help. They want someone to fix their kids, but they need to find someone to fix them. They don’t realize that the people who can offer them the most help were put naturally at their disposal for free, and that’s their parents. The question still remains, who will parent the parents? Schools have tried parenting programs. These programs don’t work. They offer advice, but ultimately it’s up to the parents to follow through. The minute their kids gives them a hard time they revert right back to blaming everyone else, then start looking for more advice.

Who will parent the parents? Maybe society has to parent the parents. .Hopefully, someone will realize that all the wisdom, guidance, direction, support, love, and affection were theirs for the taking, but they chose to turn their backs on their biggest resource, their parents.