Liberty and freedom: synonymous? I don’t think so. We all have the liberty to do and say whatever we want. Good or bad. Oh, of course with consequences both good and bad as well. What we do with that liberty determines the amount of freedom we experience in the deep recesses of our mind and our soul. We are all supposed to be responsible, that’s a given. Responsible for what? Responsible for our thoughts, words, actions, attitudes, and our motives.  Liberty is a condition of the environment in which we live, how we use that liberty will determine the condition of our soul. One can’t act on whatever impulse that moves them without experiencing the potential guilt that could plague them, maybe for a lifetime. So yes, we all have environmental liberty, but, based upon our actions we may never experience the true freedom that comes from a clear conscience. Guilt can change a person from the inside out and produce bitterness, depression, and at times mental illness.

So, how does this relate to bullying? It may take a while but here goes. Bullies use their liberty un wisely, and know full well that they do. They lack impulse control, and don’t have a clue what it means to be responsible for how they act and what they say. Their conscience is shot because of guilt and shame, and quite frankly you can’t grow a conscience. They use that liberty with no regard for the rights and privileges of another person. There is no, none, nada, freedom to be had in the soul of a bully. There is nothing there but guilt. This guilt produces a critical condemning attitude that leads to a lack of empathy for others. Their conscience may very well be seared. What’s the solution? Read on and you may be surprised.

Everyone is in a hurry until they get in front of me! Always in a rush? Always leaving late? Everyone just slows you down. How late would you be if you ran someone over or had a car accident on the way to your destination? When you are in a hurry, slow down. Easier said than done. The consequence that might be experienced from speeding might be more than a person could bear. Like killing someone or having that car accident that results in being paralyzed for the rest of your life. How does this relate to bullying? A bully is six times more likely to be incarcerated by the age of 24. Why is this so important? Because no one imposed a consequence on a bully and held him accountable for his behavior. A logical consequence for speeding might be a speeding ticket. A natural consequence might be a car accident. The consequences imposed on a bully at an early age are not strong enough for him to stop his behavior; the consequences imposed on a bully later in life do stop his behavior. What the family and the schools don’t do society does do. By the way how slow do you drive after a speeding ticket? How long would a bully continue to bully if a consequence was imposed that really hurt? I am not talking about a detention, or an in or out of school suspension. I am talking about removal from an activity that the bully would really like to participate in, or having charges filed for harassment, intimidation and bullying. What does society do with people who are anti social? They remove them, to jail. Same principal here. Once this happens a few times the bully starts to develop something that helps him begin to evaluate his behavior. That’s called consequential thinking.

Consequential thinking is merely the ability to evaluate what will happen to me if I involve myself in behavior that is inappropriate. I start to think what will happen if I use my environmental liberty in the wrong way. I begin to look at life from two perspectives before I act and ask myself the following questions; what will I gain from my behavior or what will I lose? If the loss is great enough I begin to rethink what I am about to do. Like bully someone. My liberties may be reduced, but the freedom that my conscience develops is increased. I develop less guilt and a better attitude. Sounds simple right? Wrong, it’s hard. Why, because I have to rely on someone else to impose the consequence. Families, schools, and society have to act then and only then will my behavior change. It may be hard to admit but, we are our brother’s keeper.

So, why is it so hard to restrict someone’s environmental liberty? Because everyone has rights; Rights to say and do what they want, with consequence of course as mentioned before. That doesn’t help the victim of bullying though, does it? The victim is still exposed to the bully’s attacks whether it be verbal, physical, or by way of social media. The victim is victimized in two ways; he/she is victimized by the bully, and is victimized by the fear of school, and society who always want to remain politically correct. That’s right POLITICALLY CORRECT, yes I am shouting. Don’t restrict the bully’s liberties, just let him bully the victim into becoming a bully, who is so angry, and bitter, that he exacts his revenge on his family, society, or a school; we all remember Columbine High School don’t we? Pay now or pay later. Oh yes, then of course discipline the victim, or let them discipline themselves like Harris and Kleboltz did after killing and wounding dozens of students and teachers at Columbine, they committed suicide. I could go on about victims who have lost their emotional freedom but I won’t. I will just mention one more, Tyler Clemente. The Rutgers student who couldn’t stand the embarrassment and shame of being video taped in a compromising position with another male, by two other students who exercised their environmental liberty, and then uploaded it on youtube. Tyler’s emotional freedom was taken from him in an instant. He then took his life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. Everyone stands by the age old saying that is politically correct by the way; a person is innocent until proven guilty. Well when a victim reports that they were bullied maybe we should just assume that the bully is guilty until proven innocent.