Obedience Has Become A Dirty Word

I had to change my vocabulary. I used to say that kids needed to be obedient; now I use the word compliance. Teachers didn’t like it, thought it was too much like dog training. I mean we expect dogs to obey right, well mine doesn’t but that’s another story. So I watered it down, comply sounds better than obey. I compromised myself. I know they mean the same thing right? Wrong. What is the definition of obedience………….Anybody? Let me help you out. Obedience: Doing what you are told, when you are told to do it, with a good attitude. Our students can comply in many ways but still lack the correct attitude and timing. Ask one of your students’ to sit down and determine if he sat down on his terms or yours. How long did it take him/her to get into his seat? Oh, he complied but when and how is still the question. Compliance can also be very temporary. Obedience is very permanent. I don’t have to keep asking; wouldn’t it be nice to ask a kid to do something, and have him/her just do it?  Bullies comply all the time, but in a very temporary way. Permanence comes when our demands are met when we make them and when the student has the right attitude. I left the NJ Turnpike one day and saw a sign that said, “You have left the NJ Turnpike Obey Local Speed Laws.” I guess obedience is not such a dirty word after all.

Notice From The Bench

We live in a world right now where if someone doesn’t agree with a request they don’t have to comply. This has come out of the idea that compliance is relative to a person’s attitude at the time of the request. Arguments and fights break out because situations are viewed differently by two different parties. Take a look; politics, sports, families, friends, and relatives. It is okay to have a difference of opinion but when requests are made that require compliance we all have to be aware that someone is in charge. Our student’s don’t get this, and they have become adults who don’t get it as well. In order to create a safer world we all have to abide by rules and procedures, if not chaos will take over. Discipline means to teach and when students become unteachable and do and say what they want when they want to they will leave a wake of broken relationships, job related problems and lack the skills to have a civilized discussion.