Sportsmanship: And The Game Of Life

My daughter who is twelve participates in a variety of different sports, and activities. She is attending middle school right now and is involved with cheerleading both at the school and community level. What never ceases to amaze me is that every sport hands every participant a book on sportsmanship. In other words how should we treat members of the other team and our fellow teammates? What is even more interesting is that you get the feeling that the behaviors like respect, and responsibility, kindness, caring, and other character qualities are only deemed important when the individual is on public display because they don’t want to make the team look bad. As an example one handbook reads:

All students who represent ___________ School on an athletic team are expected to conduct themselves in such a manner as to reflect credit upon ________School.

I think what is a concern here are the words; on an athletic team. Suppose you are not on an athletic team? Student’s need to work on reflecting credit upon themselves, that will in tern help credit the school for  contributing to the student’s life.

Let me make an important point here, if certain behaviors were worked on consistently and if individuals were measured by behaviors like respect and responsibility a handbook on sportsmanship would not be necessary. When there is a norm in place you don’t need rules. The problem is that society doesn’t have a norm any longer and wants to create a new norm that’s more situational and leaves people floating around in a gray abyss instead of understanding the benefits of a black and white mentality. If our norms were based on character many things would be understood and behaviors like disrespect, and unkindness would be the anomaly and those that displayed those behaviors would be on the outside looking in.

Sadly the problem that society faces is parents and the intergenerational tendencies. Sportsmanship handbooks weren’t necessary 40 years ago because parents understood the meaning of respect and wouldn’t dare question a coach or an official. On a personal note if I complained about a coach or a teacher to my father he would say the coach wasn’t tough enough on me. Today if a child goes home and complains about a coach the parents come right in in defense of their child berating the coach and their abilities. As the decades passed and complaining became the norm what one generation did in moderation the next one did in excess. Now coaches and teachers are always looking over their shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop because they corrected a student or an athlete. They knew that it is only going to be a matter of time before mom or dad came in to put them on the defensive.

The problem with parental over involvement comes at times from the lofty expectations that parents have for their children and at times they can vicariously try and live their life through their children which can create stress and tension for the child potentially impacting them throughout life. I started doing the math many years ago and finally worked out the numbers. There are about three thousand professional baseball players in the United States and that includes minor league teams. I am not including Japan or other countries that play in the World Baseball Classic every four years. There are eight billion people living on the planet. The chances are greater that a kid will be hit by lightning than becoming a professional baseball player. Professional baseball players are the cream, cream, and cream of the crop and have certain physical abilities that are innate to them and only them. When scouts talk about a five tool player they refer to a player’s ability to run with speed, has a strong throwing arm, can hit for average and hit with power, and can field their position well. These are all God given abilities that improve with practice but really it’s all about natural talent.

I am not too concerned about teenagers understanding those numbers, I think they do, but I don’t think that parents have a clear understanding of those statistics and further more believe that their kid is going to be the next Bryce Harper. It’s not the belief that’s troubling it’s what parent’s do with those beliefs that can make life miserable for a lot of people. Let’s be clear, coach’s coach, parent’s parent, player’s play, and officials officiate anytime these three things get co-mingled and they start stepping on each other’s toes it is a recipe for disaster with the player losing and I don’t mean the game.

As adults we have created this culture in a very innocent and unwitting way, and now we have to dismantle the Frankenstein Monster. We have to stop telling parents and children what they want to hear and be truthful about their academic and sports related ability regardless of any unrealistic parental expectations. Billy Beane of Moneyball fame was drafted in the first round by the New York Mets right out of high school. He was identified by scouts as that five tool player we spoke about earlier. He played for a short time in the major leagues and then went into scouting. He never made it as a player but became a successful general manager of the Oakland Athletics. He was successful, but not as the player that everyone thought he would be.

When Bryce Harper made it to the pros as an outfielder for the Washington Nationals Davey Johnson the then manager of the team asked him how he felt, Harper responded; “This is the most relaxed I have ever been in my entire life.” Harper knew that he was hit by lightning and that he was the one in eight billion who became a professional baseball player. He truly did make it. Everyone else will have to just keep on trying but in reality all kids have the potential to be great people but not all professional athletes. Even if a kid gets a scholarship and is all state in his sport he will always be a big fish in a small pond so let the kids have fun, let the coaches coach, and help parents understand how unrealistic expectations can do more harm than good.

Let’s Teach Kids How To Play Again

Dealing With Angry and Irate Parents

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Don’t Let The Past Remind Us

The past is the past, right? Wrong. The past can and will dictate the future if we allow ourselves to be measured based on our failures rather than our successes. Let’s face it. We all have failed or fallen short from time to time. Just because we have failed does not mean we are a failure. It just means we did the best with what we knew at the time. Parents can do this once they take a look at the lifestyle or the behavior of their grown children. If you are a parent, take heart: you did your best with the information you had in the process of raising your children. If you are a teacher and have had your share of problems and headaches and feel like the funds are low and the debts are high, don’t look back. Don’t drive while looking in the rear view mirror; you will hit a future tree. Gandhi once said, “Be the change we wish to see in the world.” What changes do you want? A kinder and gentler place for kids to come, have fun, and learn? Realize that you are the one that has the capacity to facilitate the change. Have you goofed up in the past? So what? The past is the past, so please don’t ever let it remind you of what you are now. Let the past remind you of what the future holds when you finally let go.

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School Climate Control

How To Take This Course

This module provides all the information you need to know about creating a positive school climate. The course is filled with information on the topic and is overloaded. We were able to provide this voluminous amount of information by hyper linking large articles and at times short ones as well. We include audio presentations and unique videocasts that combine videos with created podcasts ‘It is an extremely unique way to take a course. The nice part is all the material that you download is yours permanently and you can share it with others. You can easily turn key an entire staff with the use of this course. So what do you need to do?

  1. Click on the hyperlinks that are related to the topic. I place next to the topic (Control Click) so you know that it is a hyperlink.
  2. Complete the work, watch the videos, and read the articles. When done hit the link for your certificate of completion. We are on the honor system here; you paid for the course, so I hope you get the most out of it.
  3. Create a binder for yourself and place in it all of the downloadable materials including the free eBook.
  4. Create a folder on your computer and store the videos, podcasts, and presentations.

Enjoy the course,

Jim Burns

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If You Hear It Or See It You Own It

 

 

Often times when we hear things or see things that require us to take action, we become fearful and can often rationalize it away. This can be done by convincing ourselves that it is not as serious as we thought, the kids were only kidding, or worse yet, act like we never saw it or heard it. Years ago, teachers used to quake in fear at the thought of reporting a case of child abuse to the authorities. As an administrator, I was often asked to make the phone call by a teacher. I did on one occasion and was told that the person who observed the abuse or heard about it needed to make the report. With the emphasis placed so heavily right now on anti-bullying, it is critical for teachers to understand their resources when dealing with an incident of bullying. Teachers are the first responders and are in the trench observing students on a daily basis. If you hear or see what you believe is a bullying incident, know who to go to for help. An administrator or guidance counselor is a good place to start. In doing this, you will never be alone in the ownership process. You will always have full ownership if you don’t report it at all.

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