Realize That Parents Need Parenting

by | Mar 14, 2018 | Anti Bullying, Anti Bullying 101, Anti Bullying Tips, James Burns, Parents, The Bully Proof Classroom, Uncategorized

Some parents have lost their perception of right and wrong behaviors, and sometimes even simple decisions are tough. It’s these parents that will try to bully the teacher and the school. They do not have the ability to cooperate when they disagree and can wreak havoc in an educational setting. These parents need to be agreed with immediately. You heard right; agreed with. But, agree in principal, not with the content. Let them know that you can see things from their perspective, but work with them to see things from your perspective. Instead of a tug of war, move to their side of the rope. Or better The young parents of today need parenting. Parents who have left home with a rebellious attitude may not even be speaking with their own parents yet, let go of the rope. Ease into conversations with these parents and lose your fear of being yelled at. Be an empathic listener, and don’t argue. They need to be taught, and you are going to do it.

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Parents Can Be Bullies Too

by | Mar 7, 2018 | James Burns, Parents, Podcast, Teachers, The Bully Proof Classroom, Uncategorized

Please go to http://bullyproofclasroom.com/parents-can-be­bullies-too-2 and read this article. Based upon the previous tip, it is obvious that bullying is wrong and it will not be tolerated. But, what do you do when parents are bullies? The real reason why parents argue with teachers and administration is because they will never win the argument at home with their own child who they, as the parent, never corrected. They are, in many ways bullied at home and react out of fear; this fear is taken out on the teacher in the form of anger and rage. They are not doing their child any favors because their child is going to have a difficult time in life when Mom and Dad are not around. What’s the answer? When dealing with a parent who is a known bully, never go at it alone. Always meet with them when you have the support of your colleagues or the administration. Parents who are bullies will usually believe what their son or daughter tells them. Things like “the teacher doesn’t like me,” or “the teacher is always picking on me” are common cries from students who are bullies. When you meet with these parents, they go on the attack and become accusatory, putting you as the teacher on the defensive. Chances are, if their son or daughter is a bully, they are a school-wide problem as well, and other teachers and administration have observed their behavior. Having the support of your team when meeting with a parent avoids the idea that you are picking on their child.

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Significant Others

by | Feb 11, 2018 | Behavior Management, Bully Proof Classroom, James Burns, The Bully Proof Classroom

“It doesn’t mean that much to me to mean that much to you.” Neil Young sang this verse in his song “Old Man.” Significant others. We all have them, and we all have had them: those that have impacted our life in such a way that we can still hear their voice calling us long after they have passed on. My dad was very significant in my life. He was hypercritical, I always sought his approval—it was tough to get. Sometimes I just wanted to give up. I mean, what’s the use in trying? I thought, “Can’t please the old man no matter what I do.” The story is too long to tell here, but after he attended one of my baseball games and saw, I mean really saw the type of baseball player I was, he told me that he was so proud of me and hugged me. I don’t think he had a clue as to what that meant to me. I forgot all the past criticism and have hung on to those words to this day. He probably changed my life and didn’t even know it. Whether we want to believe it or not, as adults, we are significant to others right now. It’s time to realize how much we mean to our children, our spouses, and as educators, those we teach. How much does it really mean to you to mean that much to another person? It doesn’t matter what you have said or done in the past; a life can be changed with the right words at the right time. Often, we allow our past to dictate how we are going to treat others; don’t let it. The bullies and the victims of this world are crying out for significant others. Their parents may not be doing enough to fill the void in their hearts and souls. Come to terms today, and I mean right now, on what you really mean to others, and take the time to let them know how much they mean to you. If anyone would like the full story about my dad you can view the video by clicking the button  below.

If You Hear It Or See It You Own It

by | Feb 4, 2018 | Anti Bullying Coaching and Resources, James Burns, Teachers, The Bully Proof Classroom

 

 

Often times when we hear things or see things that require us to take action, we become fearful and can often rationalize it away. This can be done by convincing ourselves that it is not as serious as we thought, the kids were only kidding, or worse yet, act like we never saw it or heard it. Years ago, teachers used to quake in fear at the thought of reporting a case of child abuse to the authorities. As an administrator, I was often asked to make the phone call by a teacher. I did on one occasion and was told that the person who observed the abuse or heard about it needed to make the report. With the emphasis placed so heavily right now on anti-bullying, it is critical for teachers to understand their resources when dealing with an incident of bullying. Teachers are the first responders and are in the trench observing students on a daily basis. If you hear or see what you believe is a bullying incident, know who to go to for help. An administrator or guidance counselor is a good place to start. In doing this, you will never be alone in the ownership process. You will always have full ownership if you don’t report it at all.

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