Don’t Let The Past Remind Us

The past is the past, right? Wrong. The past can and will dictate the future if we allow ourselves to be measured based on our failures rather than our successes. Let’s face it. We all have failed or fallen short from time to time. Just because we have failed does not mean we are a failure. It just means we did the best with what we knew at the time. Parents can do this once they take a look at the lifestyle or the behavior of their grown children. If you are a parent, take heart: you did your best with the information you had in the process of raising your children. If you are a teacher and have had your share of problems and headaches and feel like the funds are low and the debts are high, don’t look back. Don’t drive while looking in the rear view mirror; you will hit a future tree. Gandhi once said, “Be the change we wish to see in the world.” What changes do you want? A kinder and gentler place for kids to come, have fun, and learn? Realize that you are the one that has the capacity to facilitate the change. Have you goofed up in the past? So what? The past is the past, so please don’t ever let it remind you of what you are now. Let the past remind you of what the future holds when you finally let go.

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Meet Parents At Their Intensity Level

This doesn’t mean you should start an argument. It means that when a bullying parent has a concern, as unrealistic as it might be; let them know that their concern is your concern. If they come in and are agitated, meet their intensity with your own intensity. When they present a problem to you respond with something like “I am so happy you made me aware of this. Now let’s work together to straighten things out,” parents can be reactive, argumentative, and angry. They may lack the social and emotional equity to deal with issues that are placed in front of them by their own child. They rely on the responses that they have learned from others through observation, and many of the behaviors that they exhibit are part of their own intergenerational tendencies.

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