by James Burns | Feb 23, 2018 | Anti Bullying Coaching and Resources, Anti Bullying Tips, Bully Proof Classroom, James Burns, Lesson Plans, Motives, Responsibility
Do you ever watch CSI (Crime Seen Investigation)? I do, occasionally. I am at amazed how all of the evidence that is collected can point directly at the suspect in question, but they just can’t seem to figure out a motive. They need the motive to convict the person of the crime. We all know what the motive of a bully is, right? Power. They want to have power and control over a smaller or weaker person. How do you change the motive of a bully? By being the strongest and most influential person in the classroom. That’s right, you, the teacher have this ability. You don’t need to use power; you need to use your influence. When your students realize that you are in charge their motives change from wanting to hurt others, to wanting to help. They have met their match. Remember, it is not about the influence of your power, but rather the power of your influence.
A Unit Plan On Responsibility
by James Burns | Feb 17, 2018 | Anti Bullying Tips, Bully Proof Classroom, Gossiping, James Burns
Complaining about students in the faculty room does nothing to support the educational environment. Once you find other teachers who enjoy complaining about students, it becomes much easier to get into a routine of complaining to each other. This then makes it easier for other teachers to join right in. What usually goes along with this is a great deal of talk about how the student’s lack of achievement or bullying and behavioral problems in the classroom are caused by outside circumstances such as family or the child’s intergenerational tendencies (e.g. “I had his father as a student and I am not surprised. He is just like him”). The problem is that you take the focus off of yourself and the things you can do to be part of the solution. Plus, if you’re badmouthing your students, and other teachers are feeding right into it, you will walk back into your classroom with a greater dislike and additional reasons for having a negative attitude toward those students.
by James Burns | Jan 17, 2018 | Anti Bullying Coaching and Resources, Anti Bullying Tips
These cards are designed to be downloaded, cut out and laminated. They are extremely useful in helping elementary and middle school students develop the language to deal with bully’s who use their words to hurt or embarrass others. They also provide students with positive self talk statements that help to improve the victims self esteem and confidence. Once these cards are produced they can be given to multiple students and placed in a folder or punched and placed in a binder. They are an excellent tool to help deal with individual fears that occur because of a bully’s harassment and intimidation.
by James Burns | Nov 11, 2017 | Anti Bullying, Anti Bullying Tips, Bully Proof Classroom
Many years ago a wonderful friend of mine asked me what the smallest part of the body is. I was very young and probably very stupid at the time and I responded with “Duh a finger.” He commented to me no it’s the tongue. He also said to me that although the tongue is the smallest part of the body it can do the most damage. I never forgot the conversation that I had with him; unfortunately he has since passed away and I miss him dearly. I could sure use a lot more of his advice and teaching. Our words can really do some damage. Damage sometimes that can be life long, and sometimes we don’t even know what were doing, probably because we just were never taught how to shut-up. Kids and adults can shoot their mouth off and think that they are being funny, or that their standing up for themselves when in reality they may be doing more harm than good. I was watching a baseball game very recently and watched one of the players go crazy over a call third strike. This is a grown man. He had to be restrained by 3 other players and the manager. Of course he was thrown out of the game. He was also suspended for three games right in the middle of a pennant race. I guess he really showed them. What a dope!
We are constantly challenged by people with statements like “Are you going to take that from him, or you better say something. We also like to have laughs at someone else’s expense. My philosophy is if we both aren’t laughing it’s not funny. Kids today have a real problem with behavior like this. They say things, get a laugh and really hurt the feelings of another person. I don’t even think that they are aware of the fact that people are listening and not everyone is impressed with their wit, and that they are creating a negative image of themselves in the minds of other people.
That wonderful friend of mine who talked to me about the tongue was also full of illustrations and stories that were inspiring and instructional. He illustrated this societal problem with a true story that I always refer to as the “Deaf Boy” story and it is worth sharing here.
There were two boys who were brothers. One of the boys was deaf. They had a friend who hung around with them all the time. This friend was the biggest jokester on two feet. He was always telling jokes or making fun of someone or something. One day the three boys were headed out of the house and this jokester started to make fun of the way the deaf boy spoke. Well the deaf kid couldn’t hear, and the brother gave a half hearted laugh and they left the house. No harm no foul? The deaf kid didn’t hear so no one got hurt. No one heard right? No one heard except the deaf kid’s father who was reading the paper in the den.
Let’s fast forward the tape. At the time of this incident these two boys were sophomores in college. Two years went by and they both graduated with degrees in business administration. They both went on the job hunt. This jokester had an interview with a large insurance company. He had to go through one more phase of the hiring process. He had to meet the Vice-President of the company. Who do you think the Vice-President was? The deaf kid’s father, and the only perception that he had of this young man was that he made fun of his son. It cost him……..the job. People hear and they watch too. You never know when you are going to need someone or something. The things that are the greatest desires of our heart are the things that will be withheld from us because of our past words or actions. Self-control is important and if your tongue, a one ounce body part has more control over you than you have of it, it will cost you when least expect it. You never know.
